FIC: The List (Gen, Freya/Merlin - 2236w - G)

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Title: The List
Author/Artist: ???
Pairing(s): Arthur & Merlin, background Freya/Merlin
Prompt: kinda went off on my own
Word Count/Art Medium: 2236
Rating: G
Contains (Highlight to view): *Mild Angst, fluffity-fluff*
Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Have some Christmas friendship fluff!
Summary Arthur gives Merlin his list of presents to buy for his family. It doesn’t quite go the way either man anticipated.

“Merlin, I need you. Get in here now.” The voice of Merlin’s Overlord sounded a bit tinny through the intercom. As Merlin gathered his notebook and pen he wondered if there was a way to add a voice changer to it. It would be fun to hear Arthur come through as Donald Duck on occasion.
He stopped a few feet in front of the large oak desk and waited for Arthur to look up. The blond was writing something something that looked an awful lot like a list. Merlin hated it when Arthur came up with lists. It always fell to him, Arthur’s plucky personal assistant, to fulfill whatever was on those long sheets of paper. The last time he’d gone on vacation, the list he’d returned to had been two pages, double columned, of Arthur’s tiny, crabbed handwriting. It had taken him almost longer to finish it than he’d even been away.

Arthur finally looked up and ripped the piece of paper from the yellow legal pad he’d been writing on.
“Here. I need you to take care of this for me.”

Merlin sighed heavily. After all, a little drama every now and then didn’t hurt to make sure Arthur knew how much to appreciate all of the hard work Merlin did for him. He read the lines with increasing despair once he had the paper in his hand.

“You hate me, don’t you? This is revenge for something.”

“Oh, relax, Merlin. It’s just a bit of shopping.” Arthur’s smirk told Merlin otherwise.

Merlin held the paper at arm’s length as if it were something that smelled particularly foul. “Really? If that’s the case, then why don’t you actually do your own family’s Christmas shopping.”

“Because I hired an assistant for that sort of thing, as useless as he is, so I can do more important things.”

Merlin’s disgusted look told Arthur precisely what he thought of that. “Can you sound any more Mad Men? Shall I tell your mother or sister that you consider them less important than business? That’ll go over well.”

“I don’t think they’d be surprised.”

“Fine, I’ll do this, but seriously, I at least need better ideas than, what’s this? A scarf for Morgana. Yeah, that’s descriptive.”

“Look, at least I wrote down ideas for the item. I’m going to trust your judgement, God help me, for the rest.” Arthur waved toward the door. “Go forth and shop. I’m even giving you permission to do it while you’re here at work.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and turned away, “Damn right I’m doing it on the clock,” he muttered loud enough for his boss to hear. “Not wasting my time after work on this. I have my own gifts to finish.”

“Finish?”

“Yes, Arthur, finish. I make my gifts by hand just like my mother taught me.” Merlin kept walking away as he answered, ignoring Arthur’s sound of disbelief.

A few minutes later he was at his desk, and pulling up Harrod’s website when he heard a step next to his desk. The Overlord had stirred from his lair. “You make all of your gifts? Did you make that Weasley sweater you gave me last year?”

Merlin just nodded at Arthur, busy looking at scarves. His attention was immediately caught by a Burberry scarf-cape with unicorns on it. “Think Morgana would like that? It’s £800”
Arthur barely looked at it. “Sure. What else do you make?”

“Honestly, Arthur? What does it matter?”

“I’m just curious. I’ve never made gifts before. Oh, wait, go with that one for Morgana. A cow and a unicorn. It’ll pull double duty as a subtle insult.” Arthur leaned down behind Merlin, looming over him.

“I’m making sure she realizes I didn’t pick that one out,” Merlin rolled his eyes as he deleted the scarf-cape and added the scarf with the unicorn and cow print to the shopping cart. He was trying to ignore Arthur when the man suddenly pointed at a fur stole on the page.

“There, that one for mum. She has this thing about her clothing having pockets, she’s always going on about her dresses having them. I mean, really, clothing always has pockets. I don’t know why she’s so obsessed.”

Merlin looked up and drew a breath. “Am I adding this fur stole to the cart?” He wondered how long Arthur was going to hover.

“Yeah. I know I wrote down for you to get her a book or something, but Father always takes her out on New Year’s Eve. She can wear that then.” Arthur grinned at Merlin, not realizing that he was being both very sweet and very annoying at the same time, even though it was a talent Merlin had noticed the Overlord seemed to have mastered.

“Out of curiosity, is there a limit for these gifts? You didn’t write one down and I’m wondering just how much I can make your credit card shriek with terror.” Merlin grinned. “Especially when I get to the gift for your hard-working minion.”

“I didn’t write down a gift for you, Merlin.” Arthur straightened up and mock-glared at Merlin.
Merlin nodded, “I know, but as your dedicated assistant, it is also my responsibility to make sure certain oversights are rectified.” He reached out and patted Arthur’s arm as he turned back to the computer. “Don’t worry, I’ll limit my gift to £1000. I won’t be greedy. Now what about your step-sister, Morgause? You wrote down a vacation in hell, but I don’t think that’s quite feasible, so what if we do something like a bracelet. She always seems to be wearing those.”

“I really don’t care what you get her. Oh, wait, that one. She does seem to wear those cuff thingies a lot and that’s a pretty stone as stones go, I guess.” Merlin added the bracelet to the cart, barely keeping his smile in check.

“Shall we take care of your father next?”

“Yeah. But I think it’d be best getting something he could use now that he’s retired.”

“World’s worst golfer tee shirt?”

Arthur whapped Merlin on the head even as he snickered. “Don’t let him hear you say that, idiot. No, he’s trying out hobbies now. Mum said something about cooking, God help us.”

“Maybe not Harrod’s then. A few cookbooks? Oh, maybe a cookbook holder. Mum keeps talking about getting one of those and then she just props the book up against the toaster instead.”

“A what?” Arthur’s expression had turned completely blank.

“Dear gods, Arthur, how did you survive university?” Merlin pulled up a cookbook holder and quickly put it in the Harrod’s shopping cart before he opened another page for an indie bookshop he frequented in his precious free time. The fact that it was run by a very pretty brunette named Freya had nothing to do with it, of course. “What kind of cooking?”

Arthur still had the deer-in-the-headlamps look on his face. “I don’t know. Something that doesn’t poison us when he forces us to eat it?”

“Not very helpful. How about a good old-fashioned copy of Julia Child’s book?”

“I think Morgana is getting that for him. She said something about Julia Child the other day, anyway. I was more worried about an email I’d just gotten from Leon to pay too much attention.” Arthur grimaced. “At least that turned out to be a tempest in a teapot.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Leon needs to go out on a date more than you do.”

“And what does that mean? I date.” Arthur had pulled back and was busy scowling at Merlin.

“Arthur, you go on business lunches and dinners. Remember who keeps track of your schedule for you? Unless you’re using them as cover to shag every potential client into the fold, then you haven’t gone on a real date in over a year. And if you are doing that, you must be a terrible shag because they haven’t all signed on.” He ignored Arthur’s splutters as he called up a list of the top ten cookbooks every home cook should have. “Oh, this one looks interesting. He can read about the science of cooking. Nah. He’d probably gouge his eyes out, then he’d go for you, and you’d go for me. Ooh, this next one looks good. It’s about the old-fashioned ways of cooking. That’s the winner. I’ll call Freya and see if she can get a copy.”

Merlin looked up and grinned at Arthur. He was surprised at the look of dismay on his face. “Arthur? You alright?”

“I’m fine.” He straightened up. “Just get the rest of the gifts ordered.” WIth that he turned and walked back into his office, snapping the door shut tightly behind him before Merlin could say anything else.
Merlin stared at the door for almost a minute, not quite sure what had just happened. He thought they were having fun, actually. As much as he groused about Arthur, the man was truly not as bad as he made him out to be. He’d been there to support Merlin and his mum when his Uncle Gaius had fallen and ended up in hospital. Hell, he’d given him this job when Merlin was technically completely unqualified for it, only having half of his degree finished and that in Art even.

Merlin decided to at least finish the orders he’d already queued up before he figured out what was going through Arthur’s head. The call to Freya was quick. She could, indeed, get the book for him, and have it ready in a week. She even volunteered to wrap it for him, having experienced his lack of wrapping skills first-hand.

He knocked quietly on the door and opened it on Arthur’s terse “Enter.”

“Arthur, my friend was able to get the book. Any other ideas for the rest of your list?”

“I wrote the ideas on the sheet of paper, Merlin, in case you’re wondering what all the words meant.” Arthur didn’t even look up from the report he was taking notes on. “I trust you can handle getting the rest of it done without my help.”

“Sure, Arthur.” Merlin nodded. When the Overlord was in this type of mood, it wasn’t usually worth engaging with him. Except, he had been in a good mood until Merlin stepped in something.

“Then what are you still doing here?” Arthur looked up, his face shuttered.

Merlin took a deep breath and closed the door as he stepped inside the office. “What did I say?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said something that upset you.” Merlin continued before Arthur could say anything. “I know you’re going to be all stoic and say there’s nothing and I should just get back to work but you were in a good mood and now you’re miserable. So tell me what I said so I can apologize and try to make it better.”
Arthur’s mouth worked for a moment. He obviously wanted to tell Merlin off, but sighed as his shoulders slumped. “You were right. I came in here and looked over my calendar. I haven’t gone out for fun for nearly a year. I’ve been so busy taking over from Father that I didn’t even notice. How could I not notice that I haven’t even been down to the pub with Leon, Gwaine, and the others?”

Merlin shrugged. “It’s been a long year. We’ve all been busy making this a smooth transition. Honestly, Leon has been just as bad.” Merlin smiled a bit. “What report are you reading?”

Arthur looked down. “The Carmichael report.”

“Oh, so nothing important, then.” He turned to the coat tree by the door and grabbed Arthur’s coat. “Come on. It’s close enough to lunchtime. Let’s go out for it instead of ordering in. We
can even get the rest of your Christmas shopping done if we blow off the rest of the day. After all, what’s the use of being the head of the company if you can’t take a half-day on occasion?”

Arthur snorted, a tiny smile stretching his lips. “You’re a loon, you know that?”

“Yeah, well, you hired me, so I guess it takes one to know one. Put the pen down, Arthur. That can wait until tomorrow.”

Arthur looked at the papers on his desk and his open laptop. His smile grew wider, and he reached out to log out of his computer quickly before he snapped it closed. He allowed Merlin to help him into his coat when he got to the door. “You know I’m going to have a list twice the size of today’s for you tomorrow, right?”

Merlin grinned as he grabbed his own coat and shrugged it on. “It’ll be worth it. This time, anyway.”