The Love We Found [Merlin/Arthur, Arthur/Gwen, Gwen/Lancelot - G - 7500]

[winter-mod.livejournal.com]

Title: The Love We Found
Author/Artist: indyonblue
Pairing(s):Merlin/Arthur, Arthur/Gwen, Gwen/Lancelot
Prompt:Anything in the fluffy made-for-tv Christmas romance movie style. :)
Word Count/Art Medium: ~7500
Rating: (G to NC-17) G
Contains (Highlight to view): *AU, the fluffiest fluff possible*
Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: I’ve taken huge liberties with the train journey and geographical locations so please forgive me. The title is taken from the song of the same name in a Muppet’s Christmas Carol. Many thanks to O for the speedy beta. Real life conspired to stop me from finishing this fic, but finish it I did! So a big thank you to the mods for their patience.
Summary Arthur is struggling with his father’s wishes, when he meets someone on the train home. Merlin, in the space of two days, manages to turn Arthur’s world upside down.



***



Arthur looked up from his work as the train slowed and pulled into a station. He had the table to himself and he hoped it would stay that way. He still had a lot to get through as well as...oh damn. A man stopped at Arthur’s table and lifted his bag into the rack overhead. He dropped into the seat opposite Arthur with a sigh, putting his book and other bits and pieces on top of Arthur’s work. Arthur huffed out a sigh of his own and gathered up his papers into a neater pile. The man looked too scruffy for first class, in his jeans, layered t-shirts and scarf. There were only a few people sat in this carriage but they were all dressed in suits.

The man stretched out his legs, kicking Arthur’s foot.

“Do you mind?” Arthur snapped.

“Sorry,” the man said, moving his legs. He seemed to be all elbows and knees as he wriggled in his seat until he was comfortable. Arthur glared at him. Something seemed vaguely familiar about his face but Arthur decided he must just have one of those faces. There’s no way he’d forget sticky-out ears like that.

Arthur bent his head back to his notes and the train began to move again.

“Tea or coffee, sir?” said the attendant.

“No, thank you.”

“I’ll have a tea, please.” The man opposite picked up his wallet from the table.

“No need. Hot drinks are complimentary in first class.”

“Oh fantastic, thank you very much.” He sat back down and took the cup from the attendant. He took off the lid, blowing the steam away. “I don’t think I’ll be able to travel in standard class after this.”

He blew again and Arthur dropped his pen. “Do you have to be so noisy? I would like to be able to do my work in peace.”

“Sorry. I didn’t realise…”

Jug-ears - as Arthur had named him in his head - trailed off as Arthur once more turned to his notes. He lifted a piece of paper from his pile and the note underneath caught his attention.

Arthur, I know you’re going to be busy, but if you have time could you

please

have a look at the seating plan. Thank you, Gwen.

Arthur abandoned his work and leaned his head back against his seat, closing his eyes. The wedding. His father’s last wish before he died - that Arthur would marry, have a son and carry on the family name. And the family company. His neck twinged and Arthur reached behind to try and rub out the kinks.

“Long day?” Jug-ears asked.

“Long year,” Arthur replied, opening his eyes. He picked up the pile of papers and put them in his briefcase, seating plan included. He looked out of the window, watching the countryside flash by. At some point it had started to snow and the fields were covered with a thin layer of flakes. The sky was grey, the clouds heavy and low. They matched Arthur’s mood - oppressive and depressing.

He briefly considered getting a beer but decided that if he started to drink, he probably wouldn’t be able to stop and that was no way to face the doubts that were crowding his mind.

As the train made its way towards London Arthur continued to look out of the window, though he found his gaze turning more to the reflection of his seat-mate. His thick, dark hair was brushed forward over his forehead. He had pronounced cheekbones, which stopped his face from looking childish. He was reading his book, and something made him smile. He had a smile that lit up his whole face, bright enough to take all the bad away. Arthur’s breath caught in his throat and he coughed to release it.

Arthur wished there was a way to get some fresh air on the train. He stood up and made his way out of the carriage to the doors but they had no windows you could open either. He stood for a moment, taking deep breaths and wondering what had come over him. He was marrying Gwen in a week’s time. Whatever he might feel, whatever else he might want - he stopped those thoughts dead. He loved Gwen. Not in a giddy and love-sick way. As far as Arthur was concerned that kind of love existed only in people’s imagination. No, there were other kinds of love. His feelings for Gwen were much more solid than that, based on respect and a love grown out of friendship. A marriage built on respect, friendship and love would stand a better chance of working than any kind of infatuation.

Arthur realised the train was moving slower. It was turning dark outside and the train shuddered to a halt. Arthur lost his balance, catching himself by putting a hand on the door. He peered out of the window, cupping his hands around his face to cut out the glare. The world outside was white, trees and bushes turned to pillowy shapes.

He made his way back to his seat as an announcement was made. “Due to the snowy conditions, we are being held here for a short while. We should be on our way again soon. I’m sorry for the delay to your journey and we’ll keep you updated.”

Arthur reached his seat just before the attendant. “Excuse me, do you know how long we’ll be sitting here?”

“I don’t, I’m afraid. There’s heavy snow on the other side of Bristol and a backlog of trains inching their way through.”

“Oh, great.” He brushed off the offer of another hot drink, and picked up his phone to call Gwen. Thankfully, she wasn’t too upset, busy as she was getting everything ready for their Christmas party and the wedding. Arthur promised he would be back as soon as possible.

“As I’m sat here, I can have a look over the seating plan as well.”

He pulled the plan back out of his briefcase and put it on the table. He glanced up and saw Jug-ears quickly turn back to his book. Gwen chatted away, and Arthur tried to pay attention. The man was obviously trying not to listen in and was failing. He kept looking up, glancing back at his book, then out of the window.

Arthur eventually managed to hang up, just as the attendant came back through and he asked for a coffee.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we’re all out of hot drinks now.”

“Bloody fantastic.”

“You can share mine if you like,” Jug-ears offered. He moved to push the cup across the table and knocked it over instead. He’d taken the lid off to let it cool and he watched in dismay as the liquid spread across the table, soaking the Gwen’s plan..

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he said, trying to clean up the mess with the least absorbent napkins known to man. “If only I was Harry Potter. I’d have this cleaned up in no time.”

“Yes, well, you’re not. You’re a clumsy idiot.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that…”

“I would,” Arthur snapped. The paper was completely soaked through, the ink running, blurring the names. He balled it up and put it in the bin that was tucked behind his seat.



***



The train shuddered and began to inch its way forward. There had been two more announcements and Arthur had paced the train, from front to back, twice. Clumsy - Arthur had changed his name after the drink incident - hadn’t said another word to him after their last exchange, but had started playing solitaire. He was missing a king but had substituted it for a joker. Arthur watched him play, noticing his long fingers as he flipped the cards over one by one.

As the train moved, a cheer went up from the other passengers. The train lurched and swayed to the right.

“This isn’t the right way,” Arthur said.

“How can you tell?” Clumsy didn’t look up from his cards, playing a seven of hearts on the pile.

“Because I make this journey a lot and…”

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience. I’m sorry to announce that, due to heavy snow and a tree on the line, we are being diverted to Mallowmere. There is a hotel with rooms available, and staff are making their way through the train with meal vouchers for you. We apologise for this disruption to your journey.”

“Hang on, how the hell am I supposed to get from here to London? Will the trains be running tomorrow?”

“I don’t know, sir.” The conductor looked harassed and red-faced. “I suggest you get a meal and a bed, then come back to the station first thing tomorrow morning. We should have an update for you then.”

The cheer gave way to grumbles and moans about British weather. “Honestly, one tiny bit of snow and the whole country grinds to a halt,” one man commented. There were nods as others agreed with him. But they gathered up their things and made their way off the train. It was cold and slippy underfoot and Arthur caught his seat-mate as he slid across the platform.

“Steady.”

Arthur carried on, following the crowd. It didn’t seem like the train had been that busy and he hoped the hotel would have enough rooms for everyone. Arthur walked on the road where the snow was slightly more compacted from cars driving on it. He reached the hotel ahead of most of the other passengers, stamping his feet on the carpet to get rid of the snow.

Within a few minutes, he was set up in a basic hotel room, twin beds and non-descript furniture but it would do for a night. He had finished speaking to Gwen - promising, once again, to be home as soon as he could - when there was a knock at the door. He opened it to see the receptionist and Clumsy Jug-ears standing behind her.

“I’m very sorry to disturb you, but we have no rooms left and this gentleman needs somewhere to stay.”

“Yes, and?”

“I was wondering if, as you have a twin room and are on your own, you would mind sharing? Other people have doubled up as well, and you have the last bed available.”

Arthur closed his eyes - why him? - then opened them again. “Fine, okay.”

“Thank you very much, sir. Have a good night.” She hurried back to the lift as Arthur and Clumsy looked at each other.

Clumsy gestured to the room. “Can I come in?”

“Oh, sure, of course.” Arthur stood aside to let him in and closed the door.

Arthur closed the door and turned to face his room-mate he supposed. “I hope you don’t snore.”

“Not me,” he said, with a smile. “Thank you. I did offer to sleep on the sofa in the reception but apparently that’s not allowed.”

He held out his hand. “I’m Merlin.”

Arthur shook his hand. “Arthur.”

“Yes, I know.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow. “You know who I am?”

“Yes. My uncle works for you. That’s where I’m going. To spend Christmas with him.”

“Your uncle?”

“Gaius.”

Before Arthur had a chance to process this, Merlin’s phone rang and he turn to dig it out of his bag. Arthur decided he might as well go to the bar and he mimed a drinking motion to Merlin. He nodded and kept looking for his ringing phone. As Arthur left, he heard Merlin answer his phone. Presumably it was his girlfriend or something, Arthur thought, ignoring the stab in his stomach. He was hungry, that was all. A drink and some food would set him right.

He was halfway through his pint when Merlin arrived, sitting down at the bar next to Arthur. The bartender came over and Merlin pointed to Arthur’s glass.

“I’ll have whatever he’s drinking.”

There was an awkward silence, broken by Merlin. “You know, we’ve met before.”

Arthur paused, his glass half-way to his mouth. “Have we? Are you sure?”

Merlin nodded, taking a sip of his pint. “We were about five or six. My mum had brought us to visit Gaius. You insisted we play knights and then got annoyed at me because apparently I couldn’t use a sword properly.”

Arthur studied Merlin carefully. He remembered thinking that Merlin had looked familiar on the train and now a fuzzy memory of an awkward but enthusiastic boy came back to him. “I remember now. You swung your sword around and fell over. You did look a bit ridiculous.”

“I broke my arm! I was in pain and you were stood there, calling me a girl’s petticoat.”

“Well, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

“Forgiven.”

They clinked glasses and drank.

“So, you’re spending Christmas with your Uncle. No girlfriend or anything to spend it with? Or is she with her family?”

Merlin laughed. “No girlfriend, no. Or boyfriend for that matter.”

Arthur choked on his drink. “Sorry, took me by surprise. You’re gay?”

“Yep.” Merlin took a large gulp of his drink. “Is that a problem? I don’t want to make things awkward for you. You know, with us sharing a room and all.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “It’s fine, Merlin. I’m...well, I’m glad you told me.”

They clinked glasses again. The tension in Arthur’s shoulders drained and he felt more relaxed than he had in a long time. He felt strangely comfortable with Merlin, and he didn’t want to go back to the room yet. His stomach rumbled, giving him the perfect way to keep the conversation going. Arthur set his glass down and picked up the bar menu. “I was thinking of getting something to eat. Want to join me?”

“Okay,” Merlin said, smiling. “Sounds good.”



***



Arthur was woken by tuneless singing in the shower. The heavy curtains blocked all the light and the room was pitch black. He fumbled around and found his phone on the bedside table. 9.20. The singing, thankfully, stopped as the water was turned off. Arthur sat up and swung his legs around out of bed. Leaning forward, he snagged a curtain and pulled it open. The bright sunlight made him wince and he blinked rapidly to help his eyes adjust.

It had stopped snowing. The sky was cobalt blue, streaked with white clouds. Their room overlooked a garden at the back of the hotel and the snow that covered it glittered in the sunlight.

Merlin was still in the bathroom and Arthur needed the toilet. He banged on the door. “Come on, Merlin, hurry up.”

“One second.”

Arthur waited, then banged on the door again. “I’m coming in there in a minute, if you don’t get a move on.”

The door opened and Merlin stepped out, fully dressed. “Impatient this morning, aren’t we?”

“I would like to shower too,” he said, pushing past Merlin. “Hang on, where are the towels?”

“There were only two.”

“And you’ve used both of them?”

“Well, one was a hand towel.”

“So, not only do you snore - very loudly - you also use up all the towels. You are naturally irritating, aren’t you?”

“I can see someone isn’t a morning person,” Merlin said, packing his bag up.

Arthur crossed his arms. “Not when there’s a prat who uses up all the towels, no, I’m not.”

“There’s no need to get insulting. Especially after getting to know each other a bit better last night.” Merlin zipped up his bag. “I’m heading down for breakfast.”

“Fine. I’ll get dressed and packed, and I’ll see you down there in a minute.” He stood for a moment, hands on hips, annoyed that his morning routine had been ruined. He never felt right if he hadn’t had a shower first thing. As he pulled out his clothes, the door opened again. Merlin threw two towels at him.

“There. I stole these from the cart outside. Happy?”

The door closed again and Arthur found himself smiling. In the shower, Arthur found himself going over the last night in his mind. It had been so easy, comfortable even. Merlin had liked hearing the stories of Arthur and his friends, and the kind of things they got up to. Some of the tricks Gwaine had pulled had Merlin in stitches. Arthur had liked hearing him laugh, and seeing the smile on his face. His smile was infectious - it lit up his whole face, making his eyes sparkle and Arthur had wanted to stare at it all night.

When Arthur got downstairs, he found Merlin next to the window, a pair of reindeer antlers on his head.

“What on earth are you wearing?”

“What’s wrong with them? It’s Christmas.”

“It might be Christmas, but that doesn’t mean you have to go around looking like an idiot.”

“You really do like calling people names, don’t you?”

Arthur helped himself to coffee. “Not usually. There’s something in you that brings it out in me.”

Merlin buttered his toast. “By the way, someone from the train company is here. There was a landslide a few miles west of Swindon - loads of trees fell over onto the line. No trains are getting through today.”

“Oh, fantastic.” He took a sip of his coffee and pinched a piece of Merlin’s toast. “In that case, I’m going to see if there’s any other way of getting to London.”

“I bet you could get someone to pick us up.”

“From London?”

Merlin nodded, taking a bite of his toast.

“I could, but I’m not going to. They have families. I’m not going to risk someone getting stuck and not be at home for Christmas.”

Merlin stopped chewing and stared at him. Arthur felt his face flush. “What?”

Merlin shook his head. “Oh, nothing. Just that’s pretty decent of you.”

Arthur didn’t know what to say. He took his cup with him and went to talk to the receptionist. The woman from the train company had quite a crowd around her and Arthur felt a bit sorry for her. She had obviously pulled the short straw in who would deliver the bad news. He waited in line at the reception. From where he was, he could see Merlin. He had finished eating, and was sat, staring out of the window. Arthur couldn’t quite make out the look on his face but there was something about the peace in Merlin’s face that made part of Arthur ache. He so engrossed in trying to work out what - or who - Merlin might be thinking of that he didn’t realise he was next, until the person behind him tapped him on the shoulder.

“It’s your turn,” the woman said.

“Oh, sorry. Woolgathering.” Arthur stepped forward and asked the receptionist about coaches and planes and even if anyone had a rocket ship tucked away somewhere.

She smiled. “No, but there is a car hire place in the next town along. Would you like me to call them for you?”

“Yes, please, that would be great.”

As she placed the call, Arthur’s gaze wandered back to the dining room but his view of Merlin was blocked by a pillar. Why had he lied to Merlin? Leon or Percy would have happily driven up to collect them. And really the snow was only bad on the trainlines - the motorways were usually pretty clear. Arthur squashed down the little voice inside that whispered it was because he was enjoying Merlin’s company and wanted it to last.

The receptionist spoke into the phone, then covered the handset. “They have a car available and someone can bring it here, but it won’t be until tomorrow. It would be here first thing though.”

“Okay, I’ll take it, thank you.” The little voice cheered at the thought of another day and night in Merlin’s company.

She made the arrangements and hung up. As she photocopied Arthur’s licence, Merlin came out of the dining room.

“Any luck?”

“Actually, yes. I can hire a car but not until tomorrow. Someone’s going to drop it off, first thing.” He hesitated. “Do you want to get a lift with me?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I wouldn’t have offered, otherwise.”

Merlin smiled. “That would be great, thank you Arthur.”

The receptionist came back with his things and he asked to book their room for another night.

“There are some empty rooms, now, if you would like a room of your own?”

Arthur looked around. Merlin had wandered away and was browsing through the local attraction leaflets near the lifts.

“No, that’s fine. We’ll be okay for one more night.”

He walked over and joined Merlin. “That’s all sorted. We’ve got the room for another night as well.”

“Great. Thank you. You know, for the room and the lift. I’ll pay you back, as soon as we can get to a cash machine.”

Arthur waved his hand. “It’s no bother. I’d better ring Gwen, let her know what’s happening.”

“Oh right. Of course.” Merlin turned away. “I think I’ll take a walk. Get some fresh air.”



***



Arthur wrapped his scarf around his neck and stepped outside. The sun had given way to heavy, grey clouds again and his breath plumed in the cold air. The snow was pristine except for one set of footprints and he followed these through the gardens, walking under the trees, branches bowing with the weight of the snow and came to a small open space.

Merlin was still wearing his ridiculous antlers over his hat and was building a snowman.

“Really, Merlin, you’re playing in the snow?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“Because that’s what children do?”

Arthur leaned against a tree, arms folded, and watched Merlin carefully smooth down the snow.

“You’re a bit of a Grinch, you know.” Merlin hunted around, finding sticks and stones buried in the snow. He placed them into his snowman, giving it a face and arms.

“I’m a Grinch?”

“Yes, you are.” He bent to write something in the snow at the foot of his snowman.

“Look, I love Christmas…”

“Yeah, I can see that…”

“But I’m a grown-up, Merlin. I have responsibilities and a reputation to maintain.”

“You’re a pompous prat.”

“I am not!”

Merlin stood back to admire his work. “There, I’m done. Come and see - Arthur the snowman.”

Arthur pushed himself off the tree. “My nose does not look like that!”

“Yes, it does,” Merlin said. He ran a cold finger down Arthur’s nose. “See, you’ve got a bump right here.”

Arthur shivered with the contact. They were standing close together and Arthur realised Merlin was the same height as him. he could see the sheen of cold in Merlin’s eyes, ringed by long, dark eyelashes. His gaze dropped to the curve of Merlin’s mouth, to his full lower lip. There was a tension between them, a moment where the world could flip, and Arthur’s pulse sped up. The moment was broken by Merlin giving an awkward little cough and moving away.

“Anyway…”

Arthur took a deep breath of the frosty air. “So, yeah, my nose isn’t like that. And what have you written at the bottom?”

“Clotpole.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Clotpole. It’s what you are. Sometimes.”

“What on earth is a clotpole?”

Merlin shrugged. “I don’t know. But it seems to suit you.”

“Right, that’s it. You’re in so much trouble now.” Arthur bent down to grab a handful of snow. Before he could do anything, he felt something cold and wet drip down his neck. “Oh, Merlin, you’ve done it.”

He looked up but couldn’t see Merlin anywhere. Fortunately, he could see Merlin’s footprints and he moved quietly towards one of the trees. He paused, and then leaped round, hurling the snowball at the same time. It hit Merlin in the chest with a wet splat but he grinned.

“See, you’re having fun now, aren’t you?”



***



The alarm sounded, and Arthur groaned. He reached over, patting the table until he found his phone and turned off the alarm. He put on his lamp, and looked over at the other bed. Merlin was still asleep, lying on his back, slightly propped up against his pillows as though he’d fallen asleep reading. The covers had slipped and Arthur’s gaze followed the line of Merlin’s chest. Merlin shifted and Arthur turned away quickly. He got up, deciding to use the shower first this time. Even though they now had enough towels for both of them, he wouldn’t put it past Merlin to use all of them, simply to wind him up.

He got the water running and set it to the temperature he liked - volcano hot, his father used to say. The steam quickly filled the small room, fogging the mirror. He washed his hair and stood under the hot water for a long time, his skin turning red.

He was hard, and he tried to think of Gwen’s curves and soft smiles but he could only see Merlin’s bright blue eyes and high cheekbones. Arthur swore in frustration - there is no way he could be turned on by a man with ears that ridiculous - and turned the water to cold, waiting until he was shivering before turning the shower off. Looking down, he saw that the cold water had done its job, at least. He stepped out of the shower as the door opened. He grabbed a towel and just about managed to get it in front of him as Merlin barged in.

“Do you mind?”

“Sorry, sorry. I really need the loo.”

“I’ll be a minute, then the bathroom’s all yours.”

He brushed his teeth and went back into the bedroom, Merlin dashing past him. He sent a text to Gwen, letting her know he would be on his way soon, then called to Merlin to tell him he was heading down for breakfast.

A little while later they were on their way. Merlin had made sure the car was packed with drinks and snacks for the journey.

“Merlin, I don’t think we need that much stuff. It should only be a couple of hours.”

“Well, you never know.”

“And where did you get it all from anyway? You didn’t go out this morning.”

“Some of it came from breakfast, and some of it from the mini-bar in our room.”

Arthur was pulling out and he braked suddenly, making Merlin jerk against the seatbelt. “You stole it from the mini-bar? Do you know how expensive those snacks are?”

“Yes, and you didn’t notice, did you? You signed the slip.”

Arthur set off again, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, annoyed that Merlin was right. He hadn’t checked the final amount when he’d signed out. Merlin adjusted his seat, moving it back to stretch his legs. He fiddled with the heater and radio until Arthur got annoyed and slapped his hand away.

“Ow!” Merlin said, rubbing his hand.

“You are such a child, Merlin, do you know that?”

“Whatever,” Merlin said. He rooted around in the bag at his feet, getting out a bottle of water. He put it in the cupholder in between him and Arthur.

“So,” Merlin said. “What’s your favourite Christmas film?”

“That’s easy. Die Hard.”

“Die Hard? That’s not a Christmas film.”

“Yes, it is. It’s entirely set around Christmas time,” Arthur said. “And Alan Rickman is such a good bad guy.”

“Well, I suppose it does have Bruce Willis getting all sweaty and dirty. That’s something to watch,” Merlin said.

Arthur shifted in his seat. “If you say so.” He indicated and moved into the fast lane. “So, come on then, what’s yours? It’s a Wonderful Life?”

“I do like that one,” Merlin said. “But it’s not my favourite. I’m not sure what is actually. I’ll have to have a think. Let’s find some Christmas music.”

He fiddled with the radio again. “Oh, I know. I do like a Muppets Christmas Carol. And Home Alone. And Elf.”

“I should have guessed. All kids films.”

“They’re the best ones for Christmas. Have you watched any of them?”

“I’ve seen the Muppets one. Well, bits of it. I didn’t really like it that much. Can I have some chocolate, please?”

“How can you not like Muppets Christmas Carol?” Merlin said, handing him the chocolate.

“I don’t know,” Arthur said. “It’s just...silly.”

“Oh, so a film about a cop single-handedly taking out 30-odd terrorists is believable but a film with puppets is silly?”

“Exactly.”

The film discussion took them most of the way to London, moving onto favourite films of all time and whether Lord of the Rings was amazing (Merlin) or too long (Arthur). As the miles went by and they got closer to London, Arthur could feel the tension moving back into his shoulders.

“So, tell me about Gwen,” Merlin said.

“Gwen?” For a second, Arthur couldn’t think of who Merlin was talking about.

“Yes, Gwen. Your fiancée.”

“I know who she is, thank you Merlin.” Arthur was quiet as he overtook a lorry. “She’s great. She’s warm, friendly, very caring. Beautiful.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

Merlin fiddled with the radio again. “Oh, nothing. I don’t know, it doesn’t sound like you’re talking about someone you love.”

“I love her.” Arthur didn’t know if he was trying to convince himself or Merlin. Everything was muddled in his head. He decided he simply needed to get home to see her, then it would all be okay again. He sped up a little.

“I’m sure you do.”

“Look, Merlin, what are you trying to say?”

Merlin shrugged. “It doesn’t seem like she’s the love of your life.”

“Listen to yourself, Merlin. Love of your life. That kind of thing only happens in books and films, not in real life. She’s a good woman.” Arthur glanced over but couldn’t see Merlin’s expression. Merlin’s head was turned to look out of the window. “And where the hell do you get off, commenting on this? You’ve known me for what, a day? You have no idea about me or my life.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

They reached the outskirts of London and Arthur saw a train station up ahead.

“Drop me off here,” Merlin said. “I’ll make my own way from here.”

“Don’t be silly, Merlin.” There was a stone in the pit of Arthur’s stomach. The little voice was whispering again that maybe Merlin had a point, and Arthur squashed it down again. “Look, Gaius is coming to the party, you’re invited too. I may as well bring you to the house.”

Merlin was silent for a moment before turning back. Arthur held his breath, waiting to see what his answer would be. “Okay, fine. Thank you.”

They were quiet the rest of the way; some of the good humour they’d had between them over the last day or so having been lost. Arthur wanted to get home as soon as possible now. He needed to see Gwen, to remind himself of the life he’d promised his father he would live.

Arthur pulled up outside his house.

“Wow, this is some view,” Merlin said, stretching. He crossed the road and looked down the hill. There was a clear view to the river, stretching into the distance. They were high up on a hill and, from where they stood it was fields, streaked with paths, all the way down to the river. Arthur stood next to him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d stood here to take in the view.

“Hey, Arthur!” A shout from behind had him turning around.

He nudged Merlin. “Come on, time for the party.”

Arthur introduced Merlin to Leon, and led them both into the house. The large entrance hall-way, tastefully decorated with silver and ice-blue Christmas ornaments. There was a large tree in the corner by the stairs with lights flickering around.

“Arthur, you’re here. It’s about time.” A woman came out through a doorway. Arthur moved forward and gathered her up in a big hug, lifting her off her feet. Her squeal echoed through the hallway and he kissed her gently on the lips.

“Oh, I’ve missed you, Gwen.” He set her back down on her feet and she brushed her hair back into place.

“I’ve missed you too. I didn’t think you’d get back in time. Who’s this?”

Arthur turned to see Merlin looking at the tree. “This is Merlin, Gaius’ nephew. We happened to be on the same train on the way down.”

Merlin stepped forward and shook Gwen’s hand. “It’s lovely to meet you. Arthur was right, you are beautiful.”

“Oh, thank you.” Gwen blushed. “It’s lovely to meet you. Please, make yourself at home.” The doorbell rang and she moved forward to answer it.

“Come with me, Merlin,” Arthur said. “I’ll show you where you can get washed up and changed.”

Arthur led Merlin upstairs, leaving him at one of the spare bedrooms. He opened the door and gestured for Merlin to go in. “There’s a bathroom here as well.”

“Okay, great, thank you.” Merlin moved in, putting his bag down. He unzipped it and pulled out some clothes. “I don’t have anything super smart to wear.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not formal or anything. You’ll be fine.” Arthur was only half-lying. Everyone usually dressed up a bit, but he couldn’t imagine Merlin dressed up. His scruffy look suited him.

Arthur lingered at the door, leaning on the frame. “Look, I’m sorry. For what I said in the car.”

Merlin looked up. “No, I’m sorry. I was out of line.” He laughed. “I seem to have spent the last couple of days either apologising to you or thanking you.”

Arthur smiled. “I’ll see you downstairs in a bit. You don’t need to rush.”

He closed the door and rested his head against it.
“Hey, little brother. Are you okay?” His sister, Morgana had come out of her room, and was standing quietly, watching him.

Arthur stood up straight. “I’m fine, Morgana. Long couple of days, that’s all.”

“Aww, poor you. And no chance to rest either. Gwen’s had it easy really, getting everything ready with no help from you.”

Arthur raised his eyebrow at her sarcastic tone. “Whatever. I’m going to go get ready.” He turned to walk away. “By the way, Gaius’ nephew is here - Merlin. Be nice to him.”

“I am nice, Arthur. Just not to you.” Her smile took away the bite in her words and she flounced down the stairs.

When Arthur rejoined Gwen, the party was in full swing. He kissed her on the cheek and she smiled softly at him. “You’ve done an amazing job. Thank you so much.”

“It was no trouble.” Her hands were twisted around each other. Arthur took hold of them and gently pulled them apart. “Arthur, can we talk?”

“Now?”

“Well, I wanted to have time to talk before tonight but, you know, you haven’t been here.”

“Gwen, I…”

They were interrupted by Gwaine jumping on Arthur’s back from behind. Arthur staggered before managing to pull Gwaine off. Gwen rolled her eyes and left them to it.

“Here you are at last. Come on, Arthur. Percy’s running the bar for you.” Gwaine dragged him off. Arthur managed to shake Gwaine off but as he made his way through the living room, he was stopped countless times. Someone put a drink in his hands. The room was crowded with people and Arthur recognised maybe half of them. A gap opened up and he saw Merlin and Gaius chatting in the corner. Whatever they were talking about, it looked serious. As Arthur watched, Merlin looked down into his drink, swirling the glass around. Gaius said something to him, patting him on the arm.

The party got louder as more alcohol was drunk. Arthur was hemmed in on all sides, unable to find a space to be by himself for a moment. Wherever he was, though, his eyes always managed to find Merlin. He seemed to have cheered up and was now laughing with Percy and Gwaine. There was a twinge in Arthur’s stomach, something uncomfortable, as he watched Gwaine put his hand on Merlin’s shoulder and lean in to whisper something into his ear. Whatever it was, it made Merlin laugh and Percy punch Gwaine on the arm. Gwen and Lancelot were part of the group as well, standing close together. Gwen glanced over and caught Arthur’s eye. She smiled at him and moved away from Lancelot.

“Here you are,” Morgana said, a glass of wine in her hand. “I was wondering where you were hiding.” She stood next to him, surveying the room. “It’s a good turn out this year, isn’t it? Father would be pleased.”

“Not that you were bothered if he was pleased or not.”

“That’s not fair, Arthur. I refused to dance to his tune, that’s all. Something I think you can learn a bit about.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He refused to look at her, keeping his gaze on the group across the room.

She stepped in front of him, forcing him to look at her. “I mean, Arthur, you’re forcing yourself into something, simply because it was what father expected of you.” Arthur looked away again, and she took hold of his chin, bringing his face back to hers. “He’s dead. You can do what you like. You can be happy.”

“I am happy.”

“Are you really?”

“Look, Morgana, I don’t know where you’re going with this but stop interfering. The wedding is a little over a week away. I’m marrying Gwen. I am happy and I will not let her down.”

“Hmm.” She moved to stand next to him again, following his gaze across the room. “You know, I don’t think she would be that upset if you didn’t get married, after all.”

“What?”

Morgana took a sip of her drink and smiled at her brother. “You know, it’s not for me to say. You should talk to Gwen.” With that, she disappeared into the crowd once more and Arthur cursed her.

But he carried on watching his fiancée. He watched her laugh at something Lancelot said, putting her hand on his chest to push him away slightly and a suspicion dawned in his mind. Gwen and Lancelot had dated before. He couldn’t remember why they’d broken up, only that she had been heartbroken. It had taken almost a year before she’d agreed to go out with him.

He made his way across the room, towards his fiancée. “Gwen, excuse me, everyone. Gwen, can I borrow you for a moment?”

“Of course, Arthur.” She placed her drink on the table behind her.

Arthur glanced up and caught Merlin’s gaze. It was directed at him, some emotion in his eyes but Arthur couldn’t tell what was there. He took Gwen’s hand and led her away, outside into the garden.

“It’s freezing out here,” she said, shivering.

“Here.” He took off his jacket and placed it over her shoulders. “Look, Gwen, I need to talk to you…”

“Wait, Arthur. There’s something I need to say first.” She took a deep breath. “I think we should call off the wedding.”

This wasn’t what Arthur had expected and a complicated mix of emotions made his heart beat faster. He opened his mouth but she rushed on before he could say anything.

“I’m sorry, really, but the truth is...the truth is, I love someone else. And I suspect you don’t really love me.” She wasn’t looking at Arthur, but out over the garden, twisting her hands around. “That I’m not quite the right person for you.”

Arthur took a moment to let her words sink in. He gripped the rail in front of him to keep himself from floating away.

“Arthur?”

He shook his head, needing a minute. He remembered the moment in the hotel gardens with Merlin - that feeling the world was going to tip - and now it had. Everything felt out of kilter and strange but in a good way. He made his decision and pulled Gwen in for a hug. “You are one of the bravest women I know, Gwen. I love you for that. And I love you as a friend.” He felt her sag against him and he held her even tighter. “You’re right, you know. I’ve been trying to live as my father wanted and it isn’t going to work. You are an amazing woman and Lancelot is a lucky man.”

Gwen pulled away to look up at Arthur. “How did you know?”

He leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I was watching you two together inside.”

“Oh.” Gwen blushed and moved away, breaking Arthur’s hold on her. “I’m so sorry, Arthur. I didn’t want you…”

“Shh. It’s fine. Honestly.”

He stepped in front of Gwen so she could look at him. She nodded and smiled back. “Thank you, Arthur. And you? Who’s going to be lucky enough to end up with you?”

Arthur thought back over the last couple of days, to the scruffy, clumsy, jug-eared idiot he’d spent the most time with. “I think there’s someone. But I need to tell him. I don’t know if he feels the same way, if anything will happen but...it’s a start.”

“Him?” This time it was Gwen’s turn to hug Arthur. “I’m so happy for you, Arthur, that you’re being honest with yourself.” She kissed his cheek gently. “Go, be happy.”

Arthur clung on for a moment, savouring this last moment of his old life. He made his way into the house, looking around for Merlin. He couldn’t see him anywhere. He found Gwaine, however, just coming out of the bathroom.

“Gwaine, have you seen…”

“Arthur. Where have you been hiding all night?”

“Gwaine, listen. Have you seen Merlin? You know, Gaius’ nephew. You were with him a few minutes ago.”

“Merlin, sure. Nice guy that. Very funny. But I think he left.”

“Left?”

“Yep. Said he wasn’t feeling well or something. I dunno.” Gwaine patted Arthur on the cheek and staggered back to the living room.

Arthur snagged a coat and snuck out of the front door. He paused on the steps, wondering where Merlin would go, but realised he didn’t have to go too far. Merlin was stood on the other side of the road, looking out over the river once more. He jogged over to join him. He sensed Merlin glance at him but didn’t look back. Now that he was out here he didn’t know what to say.

It was quiet. No cars came by, there wasn’t even any noise of Christmas Eve revellers. It was a bitterly cold night, no clouds in the sky, and Arthur could see a few pinpricks of stars in the sky.

“Great party,” Merlin said, his words forming white puffs in the cold air. “Gwen’s lovely.”

“Yes, she is.” Arthur said. A smile spread across his face. “And I’m sure her and Lancelot will be very happy together.”

He finally turned and faced Merlin, who was looking at him, puzzlement creasing his brow. “Her and Lancelot? But I thought…”

Arthur took a deep breath and let it out, fogging the air between him and Merlin briefly. “The thing is, I haven’t been happy for a long time. My father...my father had very definite ideas about what his son should be and do with his life. I could never be honest with him. I met you yesterday and you’ve turned everything upside down.”

Arthur watched Merlin’s expression change to hope, his eyes brightening, a smile lingering at his mouth.

“So, here I am. A week before I’m supposed to be marrying the woman my father thought was suitable, and I’m stood in front of a man I’ve known for less than two days, telling you I’m gay too. And that you are possibly the most irritating, noisy, clumsy prat I have ever met.”

A grin spread across Merlin’s face and he took a step closer.

“But,” Arthur continued. “Despite all that, I like you.”

He moved a step closer to Merlin. There was barely a breath between them. Merlin dipped his head closer to Arthur’s. There was an anticipatory pause, that moment before a kiss that is somehow sweeter than the kiss itself. It was Arthur who made the final move, who fitted his lips to Merlin’s. They were soft and cold, but soon warmed up. Merlin’s hands gripped Arthur’s hips and pulled him in closer. Arthur’s lips parted and their breaths mingled, tasting of alcohol and chocolate. Their tongues touched gently, hesitantly before deepening into something more. This kiss was a beginning, a promise of more.

A car drove by, and someone wolf-whistled out of the window. Merlin and Arthur drew back. Fireworks erupted from somewhere along the river.

“That means it’s midnight,” Arthur said. “It’s Christmas Day now.”

“Well, Happy Christmas, then.” Merlin said.

Arthur pulled Merlin back into his arms and kissed him once more, under the fiery bloom of the fireworks.



the end