Prank the Halls [Merlin/Arthur - G -808]

[winter-mod.livejournal.com]

Title: Prank the Halls
Author/Artist: thehatmeister
Pairing(s): Merlin/Arthur
Prompt: “Yes, I boobytrapped the presents because you always do it!”
Word Count/Art Medium: 808
Rating: Tooth-rottingly G
Contains (Highlight to view): *Clowns, jump scare.*
Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Thanks to Enk for the beta!
Summary Merlin has a very evil tradition of boobytrapping Arthur’s presents at Christmas. This year, Arthur decides to get revenge.


Merlin pushed his empty plate away, groaning happily. “Those waffles were quite brilliant if I do say so myself,” he observed, taking a sip of tea.

“Mmggrf,” agreed Arthur, his mouth still full as he savored the final bite of his third waffle, loaded with whipped cream and preserves. “I knew I married you for a reason,” he joked, swallowing.

“Oh, stop it,” Merlin replied, but he was smiling as he retorted. “Hurry up, it’s time for presents!” Merlin busied himself turning on the fireplace as Arthur stacked their plates in the sink, rinsing his hands. They’d been living their shared flat for nearly three years now, but it never ceased to amaze Arthur how cozy Merlin could make it seem. Between the small tree, copious amounts of fairy lights, and stockings hanging over the mantel, it was somehow more comforting to Arthur than anything he’d grown up with.

“Presents!” Merlin sang, picking up a lumpy package addressed to Arthur. “Ooh right, this one’s from Mum.” He held it out to Arthur as his husband approached. “Merry Christmas!”

“I swear, Merlin, if you’ve booby-trapped this one…” Arthur warned, turning the present over in his hands.

Merlin shook his head, looking suspiciously innocent. “Nope, not at all.” It was true, Merlin had promised to break his longstanding tradition of rigging Arthur’s presents to do alternately rude or terrifying things, but Arthur still wasn’t convinced. As he sat down, an especially rude noise destroyed the picturesque scene. Rummaging under his seat, Arthur pulled out a whoopee cushion, raising an eyebrow as Merlin shook with laughter.

“Very mature,” Arthur remarked dryly, tossing the prank machine aside. Still, it was better than the time Merlin had rigged his present to explode with glitter when it opened. They’d been finding sparkles at Easter, and Arthur still wasn’t entirely sure that he’d sneezed all of them out.

“Go on, open it then,” urged Merlin, gesturing at the package in Arthur’s hands. He ripped it open, revealing a bright red, hand-knit sweater and a card. Merry Christmas Arthur, it read in Hunith’s sloping script, You looked a bit chilly last time I saw you, and I thought the colour would suit you. Love, Hunith. Arthur pulled the sweater over his head. It really was warm, if a little on the baggy side.

Merlin pulled out his phone and turned on the camera. “Smile!” he said, grinning widely himself. “I want to send the picture to Mum.” Arthur smiled, awkwardly running a hand through his hair.

“Perfect,” Merlin announced. “And there’s my new contact photo for you.”  What the previous one had been, Arthur had no idea. Shrugging, he reached down and picked up the present he’d wrapped last night. “Your turn!”

Merlin curiously shook the box, not noticing as Arthur pulled out his own mobile and began to record. “That’s for you, Merlin,” Arthur said. “Go on, take a look.”

Merlin carefully peeled away the wrapping paper, being careful not to rip it. Inside was a nondescript box.

“Is this one of those boxes-in-boxes-in-boxes things?” Merlin asked, pulling on the ribbon. “‘Cause if it is, I-” His rant was cut short as a jack-in-the-box sprung out, its face garishly painted. Merlin let out an undignified shriek, throwing the present away and falling on his back.

“Merry Christmas, Merlin!” Arthur hooted, struggling to keep the camera steady as he laughed.

Merlin glared at him, rubbing his head where he’d knocked against the floor. “Is this revenge?” he sputtered, but Arthur was laughing too hard to reply. “You know I hate clowns.”

“That’s for getting glitter up my nose,” Arthur finally managed to say, still gasping slightly. “And the twenty-seven boxes. And putting the book in an iPad case.”

“Disproportionate retribution!” Merlin squawked, but he was clearly struggling not to laugh. “This is a crime against me!”

Arthur shook his head fondly. “Just open it,” he said. Merlin reached over and grabbed the present, gingerly picking up the jack-in-the-box with thumb and forefinger. Merlin pulled it out with a shudder, dropping the offending clown to the side. Lifting up the cardboard that separated it from the true gift, he let out a short burst of laughter. Inside was a box of prank machines, from exploding peanut cans to fake blood.

“Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into here?” Merlin giggled, waving the box.

Arthur smirked. “I thought it would be ironic.”

“Well, you did scare me half to death,” conceded Merlin, sitting next to Arthur on the sofa. “I think a little payback is only to be expected.”

Arthur stuck out his hand. “Truce until New Year’s?” he offered, fingers crossed that Merlin hadn’t found the joy buzzer in his gift yet.

Merlin sighed. “Truce,” he replied, but his eyes still gleamed wickedly. “I’m sure I can think of something in the meantime though.”