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winterknightsTitle: A Jumper Is Worth A Thousand Words
Author/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
inspired_being
Pairing(s): Leon/Gwaine
Prompt: Pic prompt ‘rude seasonal sweaters’
Word Count: 4636
Rating: PG-13
Contains (Highlight to view): *alcohol consumption, dares, crude seasonal imagery*
Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: A big thank you to my beta, CJ, for working with me on such short notice. Also to N for the quick brit-pick. To all the people in chat for your endless encouragement and, lastly, to the mods for being so accommodating with this fest.
Summary Leon more than likes the promiscuous Gwaine and Merlin tries to help by setting them up for a night at the pub together, but Leon has his reasons for not making a move. Gwaine dares Leon to buy a particular type of jumper to encourage him to be more laid-back although Gwaine may have an ulterior motive.
Shoving another jumper aside, Leon wondered if he was ever going to find the one he was looking for. How had he managed to get himself into this mess in the first place? That's right, he'd agreed to go to the pub with Merlin and the next thing he knew, Merlin had disappeared and Gwaine was ordering him a drink (that he himself somehow ended up paying for).
Refusing a drink with Gwaine was not an option. Or, at least, not for Leon. Those blue eyes and long brown locks had a way of entrancing him. Three drinks later and the topic of Christmas was raised.
"Have you noticed the decorations are appearing in the stores earlier and earlier each year?" Leon asked.
"Along with all the festive fashion," Gwaine replied.
"Don't you think it is ridiculous?"
Gwaine shrugged and took a swig of his beer. "Not much we can do about it."
"That's not the point," Leon replied.
"What is the point then?" Gwaine asked.
"Umm..." Leon looked down at his beer and then took a swig. "How about refusing to buy any of the products until at least November."
"That would never work. Especially when there are sales and women around."
"Hmm, I guess you're right.”
"Of course I'm right."
Leon rolled his eyes and took another swig of his ale.
"You know what your problem is?" Gwaine asked, giving Leon a hard enough slap on the back to nearly spill the half glass of ale in Leon's hand.
"I wasn't aware I had one."
"You're too uptight. You need to loosen up a little and not take yourself so seriously."
"I don't take myself that seriously," Leon tried to protest, but Gwaine just shook his head.
"I know," Gwaine started, and Leon knew he was in for it then. "Have you ever bought a Christmas jumper with a risque picture on it?"
Leon made a quizzical face and Gwaine smiled in triumph "See." He said smugly, taking a large swig of his lager.
“I don’t see how that has any bearing on how seriously I take myself. I’m sure there are millions of laid back people who have never once entertained the thought of buying a Christmas jumper with a suggestive image on it.”
Gwaine stared at him and drained the rest of his lager in a few short gulps. He almost thought he had succeeded in steering Gwaine away from the topic of rude Christmas jumpers until Gwaine tabled his empty glass and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“And you are one of those people, right?”
It was a rhetorical question, but Leon still found the need to defend himself. “Correct.” He downed more of his ale, preparing for Gwaine’s next attack.
“Well, I dare you to buy the rudest Christmas jumper you can find.”
Oh, great. Just brilliant. A dare. But not just any dare, a dare from Gwaine while they were both half sloshed. He had two choices; spend the rest of the night fighting against doing it and eventually lose the battle after Gwaine drinks him under the table or just agree to do it there and then.
Leon shook his head. “No, I’m not going to do it.” He downed the rest of his ale and placed his empty glass on the table with Gwaine’s.
“So you’re confirming you are too uptight then, are you?” Gwaine grinned, which made Leon want to punch him.
“No, I didn’t confirm anything. I just don’t see the point of doing your stupid dare.”
“If you go out and buy the jumper, I would be reasonably satisfied you weren’t uptight.”
“I still don’t see how that achieves anything, because I don’t care what you think,” Leon said with far too much passion for a person that didn’t care what anyone thought. He was glad he was still sober enough to be able to lie.
“Ah, but other people do,” Gwaine stage-whispered as he leaned over the corner of the table towards him. Leon could smell the subtle cologne Gwaine had sprayed across his chest as well as the alcohol on his breath. “Like Merlin.”
“I don’t think Merlin counts. He cares what everyone thinks.”
Gwaine was still encroaching on Leon’s space, clouding his thoughts. For a brief moment, Leon let himself wonder if Gwaine was leaning into him on purpose. The thought was quickly shoved to the side and he pushed his chair back as he stood. The small distance helped but wasn’t enough. Leon spotted the empty glasses and picked them up.
“I’ll get us another round,” he told Gwaine and walked off to the bar without waiting for a response.
Leon looked back to their table and caught Gwaine watching him. A good sign?
“Don’t be stupid,” Leon told himself as he turned to order the drinks and shook his head.
---
Leon was down to the bottom of his fourth ale in less than two hours and he was beginning to feel it.
He wasn’t sure he could take much more of Gwaine’s seemingly logical but totally irrelative arguments about how he really was uptight and only the buying of a stupid Christmas jumper could prove otherwise. It was time to give into his crazy dare, if only to shut Gwaine up, but hopefully also show him how ridiculous the notion was.
“Fine, I’ll do it.” Leon announced, interrupting yet another of Gwaine’s long-winded explanations. “I’ll do it and then you have to wear it for a day.”
The grin on Gwaine’s face became the widest it had been all night, “I can live with that.”
---
The jumper he was looking for wasn’t on any of the racks. Well, of course it wouldn’t be, he realised. Bloody Morgana. Leon pictured her cackling at how gullible he was to believe that a sexually suggestive jumper would be sold at the local shopping centre.
With his umbrella in one hand and his mobile in the other, Leon stalked out of the shopping centre while Googling the phrase ‘rude Christmas jumper’. Scrolling through the photos, he found his car, threw the umbrella in the back seat and sat behind the wheel. Finally he found the design he’d been looking for in the shops and ordered it from Amazon.
---
After collecting his parcel from the post office, Leon arrived home from work the following Thursday. He dumped the parcel on his coffee table and debated with himself about opening it. He still couldn’t believe he’d actually let Gwaine get far enough into his head as to control what he bought. Yes, it had been a dare, but he didn’t have to accept it. Gwaine had agreed to wear it though, so at least he wouldn’t have to keep the thing.
Leon snatched the parcel off the table and began pulling the packaging open. He wanted to see that he’d actually completed his part of the dare. The ripped plastic revealed a red, white and blue patterned jumper, but from the way it was folded he was unable to see the unsavoury pattern that would confirm this was the jumper he had exchanged his hard earned money for.
Removing the remainder of the packaging, Leon felt the jumper was at least made of quality wool and would keep the wear warm despite the rude pattern that would be displayed across their stomach, lower back and around their elbows. He finally held the jumper up by the neck and let it unfold naturally to reveal the pattern he still held out hope of not seeing. But it was there, clear as day. Two reindeer in an extremely suggestive position; one standing on all fours while another mounted it from behind, the top of second’s hind legs in line with the rear end of the first.
It was a totally natural position for the reindeers to be in, Leon told himself. Reproduction was a completely natural process. Christmas was, after all, the celebration of the result of human reproduction; the birth of Jesus. Leon’s thoughts drifted to Gwaine’s Jesus-like long hair, his short beard and gorgeous smile.
He dropped the jumper and shook his head. He knew Gwaine was trouble but the part of him that was attracted to the git refused to be dowsed by logic, which told him he was only bound to get hurt. Leon wasn’t the type to have a fling and didn’t want to be just another one night stand to Gwaine.
---
“You own me thirteen quid,” Leon told Merlin.
“What for?” Merlin replied, looking totally innocent.
“For setting me up and for the jumper Gwaine made me buy after you left.”
Merlin just laughed. “See, you knew he would try and pull something so cough up.” Leon put his hand out, palm up and waited.
Merlin ignored Leon’s hand. “Oh, you need to lighten. Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy Gwaine’s company or else you wouldn’t have stayed long enough for him to ‘pull something’,” Merlin said, chuckling at the last words.
“I do not need to lighten up and it doesn’t matter if I enjoyed spending time with Gwaine or not,” Leon stated firmly.
Merlin schooled his face into something more serious. “Of course it matters. We just want you to be happy. You can’t deny that you like Gwaine. And who knows, you might just be the one to tame him.”
“Tame Gwaine? You’ve got to be kidding.”
“He isn’t that bad.”
“Of course he is,” Leon said. “When was the last time he was even in a serious relationship?”
“Well… umm…” uttered Merlin. “I don’t know.”
“See.” Leon didn’t know either. He was pretty sure that Gwaine hadn’t been in any real relationship in the time they had known him, which was going on ten years.
“That doesn’t mean anything,” said Merlin. “You just need to ask yourself why you like him despite knowing what he’s like and decide whether it is worth trying.”
“I hate it when you’re right.”
---
Leon typed a message to Gwaine on his phone. I bought the jumper. He hit send before he could change his mind and shoved the phone into his pocket.
Feeling vibrations in his pocket less than a minute later, Leon pulled out his phone. Gwaine was calling him. He briefly contemplated ignoring the call before swiped the screen to answer it.
“Hi,” he said simply.
“I’m impressed,” came Gwaine’s voice through the earpiece. “Where is it?”
“At my place,” Leon answered without thinking.
“Want me to come over and fill my end of the dare?”
“Umm…” Leon looked around his flat.
“I’ll be there in half an hour,” Gwaine said when he took too long to respond and hung up before Leon could say “No.”
---
Knock, knock, knock.
Leon wished he’d had a bit more time to tidy up as he opened the door to reveal Gwaine rugged up in a scarf and long coat. Not what he had been expected and his mind started conjuring images of what might be underneath the coat.
“Hey Leon, can I come in?” Gwaine asked rather politely. If Leon hadn’t been busy berating his brain for the images in his head he might have noticed the slight shakiness in the way Gwaine had asked the question.
“Yeah, sure.” Leon stepped back to let Gwaine through before closing the door again. “Err… did you want a drink or something?” he asked automatically.
“Tea?”
“Yeah, sure.” Leon took a few steps towards the kitchen and looked back to see Gwaine still standing in the doorway. “Take a seat in the lounge if you want. I’ll be there in a few.”
“Mind if I come into the kitchen with you?”
Leon was surprised Gwaine made it a question, but shrugged and said, “If you want to.”
He boiled the kettle and pulled down two cups from the cupboard. “Sugar and milk?”
“Just milk thanks.” Gwaine sat down at the kitchen table. Leon pulled the milk out of the fridge and added tea bags to the cups.
“I’ll just go get the jumper then,” Leon said.
“No rush.” Gwaine started taking off his scarf and it was only then that Leon noticed the package on the table in front of Gwaine. “Oh… umm, this is for you,” Gwaine muttered, which was very unlike him, and offered the package to Leon.
He didn’t take it. “Why?”
“Dare,” was all Gwaine gave in way of explanation. Leon’s eyes moved between the package and Gwaine. He didn’t remember any part of Gwaine’s dare involving him receiving anything.
“Who dared you?”
“Does it matter? Just take it.” Now Gwaine looked worried. He put the package back on the table and pushed it towards Leon. This made Leon even more wary.
He was afforded another minute by the boiling kettle to think about what he was going to do. The shape package reminded him of how the jumper he’d bought had been wrapped. Shite, Gwaine had bought him a jumper as well and if someone had dared him, it was bound to have something unsavoury on it.
Leon poured the boiled water slowly into each cup and then proceeded to jiggle the tea bags around. What was he going to do? He poured milk into the tea then tossed the tea bags into the sink.
He decided to ignore the parcel, moving to the opposite side of the table to give Gwaine his tea and place his own in front of him without sitting down. He felt Gwaine’s eyes on him as he left the kitchen and walked into the lounge without a word. Leon grabbed the folded jumper from the coffee table and proceeded back into the kitchen.
“Here,” he said as he shoved it in front of Gwaine. Gwaine glanced at the jumper and back up at Leon, a smirk firmly in place. This was the Gwaine he knew.
Gwaine stood up and started unbuttoning his coat. Leon did not want to watch this. He wrapped his hands around his teacup and dragged it towards him so he could stare into the hot, tan coloured liquid. He heard Gwaine’s coat drop onto the chair. He took a deep breath and tried to get the image of a naked Gwaine out of his head. He blew on the tea and attempted to concentrate on the ripples being made.
“Fits nicely,” Gwaine stated. Leon fought the urge to look up. “How did you know my size?”
Leon shrugged. “Lucky guess.” He took a sip of his tea with his eyes still fixed on the cup.
“Hmm… maybe I was wrong.”
“Huh, what?” Leon spluttered at the comment and looked up.
Gwaine laughed. “Made ya look.”
Leon scowled at the man standing opposite him but noted the jumper did fit him rather well, along with the dark jeans into the pockets of which Gwaine had stuck his hands.
“You really do need to relax, Leon,” Gwaine commented. “It is just a jumper.”
Even though Gwaine had used his name, somehow Leon wasn’t sure Gwaine’s words had been entirely directed at him.
“Exactly, it is just a jumper.” Leon took another sip of his tea. “Aren’t you going to drink your tea?”
Gwaine glance down at the tea and then continued to watch Leon. He pulled his hands out of his pockets, reached for the package and shoved it across the table at Leon. “Open it and I’ll drink my tea.”
It was Leon’s turn to laugh. “I don’t care if you drink your tea or not. I completed my dare and you are completing your end of it. I have nothing to do with whatever this is.” Leon gestured at the package. “I’m not opening it.”
Gwaine sighed and sat back down. “I suppose we were both right.”
“About what?”
“About you being uptight and that you buying a crude Christmas jumper wasn’t going to change anything.”
Leon wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He watched Gwaine as he silently fiddled with the cup of tea in front of him. Leon drankmore of his tea before Gwaine finally broke the silence.
“Right… well, I guess I should go then.” He pushed back in his chair, stood and then grabbed his coat. Leon watched him put it on over the jumper and felt a wave of sadness in seeing it covered up. Gwaine retrieved his scarf and replaced it around his neck. He looked back at Leon and, with a small sigh, said “See ya.”
As soon as Gwaine turned to leave, nearly every part of Leon wanted to protest. But he didn’t. He let him walk out his front door.
“Shite,” Leon whispered to himself, head in his hands, shaking his head. “This is hopeless.” No, he thought as he lifted his head out of his hands, he had to get a grip on himself. He couldn’t let Gwaine get to him like this.
He drank some more of his tea before he saw Gwaine had left the package on his table. He worried at his bottom lip as he toyed with how he should proceed.
Did he open the package, like Gwaine wanted him to? Did he throw it out? Or possibly give it to Merlin to give back to Gwaine? Wait a second… Merlin was probably in on this too, just like the pub. He’d bet Merlin was the one who had dared Gwaine and now Leon was curious to see what Merlin’s dare truly entailed. He eyed the package and decided to ring his devious friend.
Merlin picked up on the third ring. “Hi Leon, what’s up?”
“What did you dare Gwaine to do?” Leon asked, cutting to the chase.
“Dare? Gwaine? What are you talking about? I didn’t dare him to do anything.”
“Well somebody did. I have a package on my table to prove it. He said it was a dare.”
“Wait, Gwaine gave you something?”
“He tried to but I told him I didn’t want it so he just left it here and walked out,” Leon explained.
“He was at your place?”
“Yes, Merlin. And it isn’t what you’re thinking. He invited himself, I made him a cuppa, and he tried to give me the package. I gave him the stupid jumper, which he put on and then left.”
“So Gwaine left your house in the jumper you gave him?” There was a happy lilt to Merlin’s voice.
“You’re missing the point. He was dared to give me something and I want to know what it was,” Leon said, slightly frustrated as he stared at the lumpy package on his kitchen table.
“Well I don’t know what it is,” Merlin said matter-of-factly. “I didn’t dare Gwaine to do anything, so the only way I can see you finding out what is in the package is by actually opening it, like Gwaine intended you to.”
“Dammit Merlin. If you didn’t dare him, than who did?”
“Does it really matter?”
“That’s what he said.”
“Just open it.”
There was quiet on both sides while Leon continued to stare at the package contemplating his next step. Gwaine’s words about taking himself too seriously and buying the jumper not changing anything resounded in Leon’s mind.
“Okay, I’ll open it.” Yep, he was doomed.
“Good.” Merlin sounded pleased with Leon’s decision.
Leon put the phone down, but didn’t hang up the call. He was sure Merlin was curious to know what was in the package as well. He tore open one end and immediately confirmed his suspicions that it was a jumper. He pulled the red woollen piece out of the brown paper it had been wrapped in but stopped short of unfolding it. He pushed the loudspeaker button on his phone.
“It’s a jumper,” he told Merlin and Merlin’s laughter resonated loud and true.
“I don’t see how that’s funny. You promise you didn’t dare him to do this?”
Merlin controlled his laughter enough to say, “Yes, I promise. What colour is it and does it have anything on it?”
“It’s red…with stripe of white arrowheads. And not as far as I can tell. I haven’t unfolded it.”
“Well unfold it already. What are you waiting for?”
“I don’t know. I feel like Gwaine wanted me to do it when he was here.”
“But he left. So maybe he thought him being there was stopping you and he really just wanted you to open it and see what it is.”
Why did Merlin have to make so much sense? And how was Gwaine influencing his decisions without even being present. “Okay… unfolding the jumper.” There was nothing bar the stripe of arrow heads on the back… so what was on the front. He tentatively turned it around and saw the bow tied at the top of some mistletoe. Above the image it read ‘Kiss me under the mistletoe’ and below the image was a large white arrow pointing down, just to make clear you knew what the top meant.
“It’s… very Gwaine.”
“How? What’s on it?”
“Umm…”
“Oh, come on Leon. It’s me, Merlin. You can tell me.”
“Are you sure you didn’t have anything to do with this?”
“Positive. So tell me!”
“I’ll send you a pic. Talk to you tomorrow.”
“That bad, huh? All right, bye.”
Leon hung up and used his phone to photograph the jumper’s front on the table. He opened a message to Merlin but changed his mind, took a photo of the back and sent that instead. Then he sent a message to Gwaine.
Your tea is cold and you left your package here. When are you coming to collect it?
---
A week went by with no response from Gwaine. Leon had been anxious for the first day or two that his message went unanswered, then resigned himself to the fact Gwaine wasn’t coming back and that it was probably a good thing.
The Saturday after Gwaine had left the package on his kitchen table, Leon was cooking dinner for himself with his favourite Christmas album playing from his computer, when he thought he heard someone knocking on his door.
He stopped for a moment to listen, just in case. The knocking didn’t come again so he shrugged it off as his imagination and went back to his pasta.
A minute later, his phone vibrated on the bench. He peered at it to find a message from Gwaine.
What are you cooking?
Leon raised his eyebrow at the message, picked up the phone and called Gwaine. The first ring had barely finished when Gwaine’s voice was in his ears. “So is there enough for me?”
Leon ignored the question and asked one of his own. “Are you standing outside my door?”
He heard three knocks through his phone and from the direction of his front door in way of response. “Can I come in?”
Leon ended the call and sauntered to his front door. He opened it, and sure enough Gwaine was standing on the other side. “Why thank you,” Gwaine said with a cheeky grin from ear to ear. He didn’t wait for Leon to step aside, but merely pushed passed and made his way towards the food.
Leon stared in slight disbelief at Gwaine’s back until he was out of sight. He was wearing the jumper Leon had given him. A cold draft reminded Leon the door was still open and he promptly closed it before following Gwaine back into the kitchen.
He found Gwaine sampling the sauce he had been simmering. Leon cleared his throat, “Ahem.”
Gwaine turned towards him and announced, “This is great. I should come over more often. I didn’t know you were such a good cook.”
“There are a good many things you don’t know about me, Gwaine. However, what I’d like to know is what you think you are doing here?” Leon asked.
Gwaine sighed and put down the wooden spoon he’d been using to sample the sauce. “I came to take back the package I left,” he said, then added the afterthought. “If you’re sure you don’t want it.”
“Riight…” Leon was sure that was not what Gwaine was here for. “That’s why you invited yourself in for dinner.”
Gwaine shrugged. “It was worth a try, wasn’t it?”
Leon eyed the reindeer on Gwaine’s jumper and then looked back up to meet the other man’s gaze. Gwaine’s face appeared hard and his eyes were thoughtful, possibly deciding on his next move or trying to work out Leon’s.
“I opened the package,” Leon admitted. This brought a grin back to Gwaine’s face.
“Ha, I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist for long.”
“Did you really buy that jumper for me?” Leon asked the question that had been playing in the back of his mind all week, but he was not prepared for the confusion on Gwaine’s face.
“Yeah, I told you. It was a dare.” Gwaine’s reply came quickly and without any thought and the small glimmer of hope Leon had had was crushed.
“Yeah… right.”
Numb, Leon moved into the kitchen, snatched up the wooden spoon, washed it and then gave the sauce a stir. He turned off the gas to the pasta and poured it into the colander to drain. He ignored Gwaine’s silent scrutiny as he served himself a bowl, added some of the sauce and went to sit at the table.
He had loaded up his fork with food and was about to put it in his mouth when Gwaine sat on the seat next to him, turned to face his side, and exclaimed, “Wait a minute. You mean to tell me you thought I bought that jumper for you because I wanted to…”
Leon dropped his fork and concentrated on keeping a straight face. But with Gwaine this close, it was no use. He felt his cheeks burning and knew Gwaine would see them turning bright pink.
“Oh my god, you did,” Gwaine said with an excitable laugh.
Leon turned to Gwaine and gave him the best stern face he could with his cheeks still burning. “And there is one of the reasons I never bothered to try. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to eat my dinner in peace.” He looked back at his pasta and picked up his fork. Taking a deep breath, he added, “I’m sure you can see yourself out as you were more than able to see yourself in.”
As soon as he’d uttered the last word he felt Gwaine’s hand under his chin, turning his head. Leon returned the fork to his bowl again, but there was no time to protest as Gwaine’s lips descended upon his. The passion behind the kiss was palpable and Leon couldn’t help but answer with his own. Their lips smashed together and Gwaine caressed the light beard under Leon’s chin before slowly pulling back.
Leon opened his eyes, not remembering shutting them, and Gwaine’s face was the only thing in his vision. Gwaine searched his face then said softly, “I’ll go if you want me to.”
“I…” Leon lowered his gaze. He couldn’t think straight with Gwaine this close to him.
“It’s alright,” Gwaine said softly, moving back. “I get it,” he sighed and stood up to leave. He took a step towards the door and Leon was on his feet too, grabbing Gwaine’s right, wool covered shoulder.
“Wait,” Leon said as he turned Gwaine back towards him and captured the other man’s lips with his. This kiss was just as passionate as the first and it was longer before Leon was the one to finally pull back. “You can stay for dinner.”
A smile lit up Gwaine’s face and Leon found himself being pulled into the other man’s chest, with arms wrapped around his waist and hands resting on his butt. “Do I get dessert?”
Leon shared Gwaine’s smile. “Don’t push your luck.”
--------------------------
Author’s Note: If anyone is curious about what jumpers inspired this; the reindeer one is here and the mistletoe one here
Author/Artist:
inspired_beingPairing(s): Leon/Gwaine
Prompt: Pic prompt ‘rude seasonal sweaters’
Word Count: 4636
Rating: PG-13
Contains (Highlight to view): *alcohol consumption, dares, crude seasonal imagery*
Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: A big thank you to my beta, CJ, for working with me on such short notice. Also to N for the quick brit-pick. To all the people in chat for your endless encouragement and, lastly, to the mods for being so accommodating with this fest.
Summary Leon more than likes the promiscuous Gwaine and Merlin tries to help by setting them up for a night at the pub together, but Leon has his reasons for not making a move. Gwaine dares Leon to buy a particular type of jumper to encourage him to be more laid-back although Gwaine may have an ulterior motive.
Shoving another jumper aside, Leon wondered if he was ever going to find the one he was looking for. How had he managed to get himself into this mess in the first place? That's right, he'd agreed to go to the pub with Merlin and the next thing he knew, Merlin had disappeared and Gwaine was ordering him a drink (that he himself somehow ended up paying for).
Refusing a drink with Gwaine was not an option. Or, at least, not for Leon. Those blue eyes and long brown locks had a way of entrancing him. Three drinks later and the topic of Christmas was raised.
"Have you noticed the decorations are appearing in the stores earlier and earlier each year?" Leon asked.
"Along with all the festive fashion," Gwaine replied.
"Don't you think it is ridiculous?"
Gwaine shrugged and took a swig of his beer. "Not much we can do about it."
"That's not the point," Leon replied.
"What is the point then?" Gwaine asked.
"Umm..." Leon looked down at his beer and then took a swig. "How about refusing to buy any of the products until at least November."
"That would never work. Especially when there are sales and women around."
"Hmm, I guess you're right.”
"Of course I'm right."
Leon rolled his eyes and took another swig of his ale.
"You know what your problem is?" Gwaine asked, giving Leon a hard enough slap on the back to nearly spill the half glass of ale in Leon's hand.
"I wasn't aware I had one."
"You're too uptight. You need to loosen up a little and not take yourself so seriously."
"I don't take myself that seriously," Leon tried to protest, but Gwaine just shook his head.
"I know," Gwaine started, and Leon knew he was in for it then. "Have you ever bought a Christmas jumper with a risque picture on it?"
Leon made a quizzical face and Gwaine smiled in triumph "See." He said smugly, taking a large swig of his lager.
“I don’t see how that has any bearing on how seriously I take myself. I’m sure there are millions of laid back people who have never once entertained the thought of buying a Christmas jumper with a suggestive image on it.”
Gwaine stared at him and drained the rest of his lager in a few short gulps. He almost thought he had succeeded in steering Gwaine away from the topic of rude Christmas jumpers until Gwaine tabled his empty glass and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“And you are one of those people, right?”
It was a rhetorical question, but Leon still found the need to defend himself. “Correct.” He downed more of his ale, preparing for Gwaine’s next attack.
“Well, I dare you to buy the rudest Christmas jumper you can find.”
Oh, great. Just brilliant. A dare. But not just any dare, a dare from Gwaine while they were both half sloshed. He had two choices; spend the rest of the night fighting against doing it and eventually lose the battle after Gwaine drinks him under the table or just agree to do it there and then.
Leon shook his head. “No, I’m not going to do it.” He downed the rest of his ale and placed his empty glass on the table with Gwaine’s.
“So you’re confirming you are too uptight then, are you?” Gwaine grinned, which made Leon want to punch him.
“No, I didn’t confirm anything. I just don’t see the point of doing your stupid dare.”
“If you go out and buy the jumper, I would be reasonably satisfied you weren’t uptight.”
“I still don’t see how that achieves anything, because I don’t care what you think,” Leon said with far too much passion for a person that didn’t care what anyone thought. He was glad he was still sober enough to be able to lie.
“Ah, but other people do,” Gwaine stage-whispered as he leaned over the corner of the table towards him. Leon could smell the subtle cologne Gwaine had sprayed across his chest as well as the alcohol on his breath. “Like Merlin.”
“I don’t think Merlin counts. He cares what everyone thinks.”
Gwaine was still encroaching on Leon’s space, clouding his thoughts. For a brief moment, Leon let himself wonder if Gwaine was leaning into him on purpose. The thought was quickly shoved to the side and he pushed his chair back as he stood. The small distance helped but wasn’t enough. Leon spotted the empty glasses and picked them up.
“I’ll get us another round,” he told Gwaine and walked off to the bar without waiting for a response.
Leon looked back to their table and caught Gwaine watching him. A good sign?
“Don’t be stupid,” Leon told himself as he turned to order the drinks and shook his head.
---
Leon was down to the bottom of his fourth ale in less than two hours and he was beginning to feel it.
He wasn’t sure he could take much more of Gwaine’s seemingly logical but totally irrelative arguments about how he really was uptight and only the buying of a stupid Christmas jumper could prove otherwise. It was time to give into his crazy dare, if only to shut Gwaine up, but hopefully also show him how ridiculous the notion was.
“Fine, I’ll do it.” Leon announced, interrupting yet another of Gwaine’s long-winded explanations. “I’ll do it and then you have to wear it for a day.”
The grin on Gwaine’s face became the widest it had been all night, “I can live with that.”
---
The jumper he was looking for wasn’t on any of the racks. Well, of course it wouldn’t be, he realised. Bloody Morgana. Leon pictured her cackling at how gullible he was to believe that a sexually suggestive jumper would be sold at the local shopping centre.
With his umbrella in one hand and his mobile in the other, Leon stalked out of the shopping centre while Googling the phrase ‘rude Christmas jumper’. Scrolling through the photos, he found his car, threw the umbrella in the back seat and sat behind the wheel. Finally he found the design he’d been looking for in the shops and ordered it from Amazon.
---
After collecting his parcel from the post office, Leon arrived home from work the following Thursday. He dumped the parcel on his coffee table and debated with himself about opening it. He still couldn’t believe he’d actually let Gwaine get far enough into his head as to control what he bought. Yes, it had been a dare, but he didn’t have to accept it. Gwaine had agreed to wear it though, so at least he wouldn’t have to keep the thing.
Leon snatched the parcel off the table and began pulling the packaging open. He wanted to see that he’d actually completed his part of the dare. The ripped plastic revealed a red, white and blue patterned jumper, but from the way it was folded he was unable to see the unsavoury pattern that would confirm this was the jumper he had exchanged his hard earned money for.
Removing the remainder of the packaging, Leon felt the jumper was at least made of quality wool and would keep the wear warm despite the rude pattern that would be displayed across their stomach, lower back and around their elbows. He finally held the jumper up by the neck and let it unfold naturally to reveal the pattern he still held out hope of not seeing. But it was there, clear as day. Two reindeer in an extremely suggestive position; one standing on all fours while another mounted it from behind, the top of second’s hind legs in line with the rear end of the first.
It was a totally natural position for the reindeers to be in, Leon told himself. Reproduction was a completely natural process. Christmas was, after all, the celebration of the result of human reproduction; the birth of Jesus. Leon’s thoughts drifted to Gwaine’s Jesus-like long hair, his short beard and gorgeous smile.
He dropped the jumper and shook his head. He knew Gwaine was trouble but the part of him that was attracted to the git refused to be dowsed by logic, which told him he was only bound to get hurt. Leon wasn’t the type to have a fling and didn’t want to be just another one night stand to Gwaine.
---
“You own me thirteen quid,” Leon told Merlin.
“What for?” Merlin replied, looking totally innocent.
“For setting me up and for the jumper Gwaine made me buy after you left.”
Merlin just laughed. “See, you knew he would try and pull something so cough up.” Leon put his hand out, palm up and waited.
Merlin ignored Leon’s hand. “Oh, you need to lighten. Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy Gwaine’s company or else you wouldn’t have stayed long enough for him to ‘pull something’,” Merlin said, chuckling at the last words.
“I do not need to lighten up and it doesn’t matter if I enjoyed spending time with Gwaine or not,” Leon stated firmly.
Merlin schooled his face into something more serious. “Of course it matters. We just want you to be happy. You can’t deny that you like Gwaine. And who knows, you might just be the one to tame him.”
“Tame Gwaine? You’ve got to be kidding.”
“He isn’t that bad.”
“Of course he is,” Leon said. “When was the last time he was even in a serious relationship?”
“Well… umm…” uttered Merlin. “I don’t know.”
“See.” Leon didn’t know either. He was pretty sure that Gwaine hadn’t been in any real relationship in the time they had known him, which was going on ten years.
“That doesn’t mean anything,” said Merlin. “You just need to ask yourself why you like him despite knowing what he’s like and decide whether it is worth trying.”
“I hate it when you’re right.”
---
Leon typed a message to Gwaine on his phone. I bought the jumper. He hit send before he could change his mind and shoved the phone into his pocket.
Feeling vibrations in his pocket less than a minute later, Leon pulled out his phone. Gwaine was calling him. He briefly contemplated ignoring the call before swiped the screen to answer it.
“Hi,” he said simply.
“I’m impressed,” came Gwaine’s voice through the earpiece. “Where is it?”
“At my place,” Leon answered without thinking.
“Want me to come over and fill my end of the dare?”
“Umm…” Leon looked around his flat.
“I’ll be there in half an hour,” Gwaine said when he took too long to respond and hung up before Leon could say “No.”
---
Knock, knock, knock.
Leon wished he’d had a bit more time to tidy up as he opened the door to reveal Gwaine rugged up in a scarf and long coat. Not what he had been expected and his mind started conjuring images of what might be underneath the coat.
“Hey Leon, can I come in?” Gwaine asked rather politely. If Leon hadn’t been busy berating his brain for the images in his head he might have noticed the slight shakiness in the way Gwaine had asked the question.
“Yeah, sure.” Leon stepped back to let Gwaine through before closing the door again. “Err… did you want a drink or something?” he asked automatically.
“Tea?”
“Yeah, sure.” Leon took a few steps towards the kitchen and looked back to see Gwaine still standing in the doorway. “Take a seat in the lounge if you want. I’ll be there in a few.”
“Mind if I come into the kitchen with you?”
Leon was surprised Gwaine made it a question, but shrugged and said, “If you want to.”
He boiled the kettle and pulled down two cups from the cupboard. “Sugar and milk?”
“Just milk thanks.” Gwaine sat down at the kitchen table. Leon pulled the milk out of the fridge and added tea bags to the cups.
“I’ll just go get the jumper then,” Leon said.
“No rush.” Gwaine started taking off his scarf and it was only then that Leon noticed the package on the table in front of Gwaine. “Oh… umm, this is for you,” Gwaine muttered, which was very unlike him, and offered the package to Leon.
He didn’t take it. “Why?”
“Dare,” was all Gwaine gave in way of explanation. Leon’s eyes moved between the package and Gwaine. He didn’t remember any part of Gwaine’s dare involving him receiving anything.
“Who dared you?”
“Does it matter? Just take it.” Now Gwaine looked worried. He put the package back on the table and pushed it towards Leon. This made Leon even more wary.
He was afforded another minute by the boiling kettle to think about what he was going to do. The shape package reminded him of how the jumper he’d bought had been wrapped. Shite, Gwaine had bought him a jumper as well and if someone had dared him, it was bound to have something unsavoury on it.
Leon poured the boiled water slowly into each cup and then proceeded to jiggle the tea bags around. What was he going to do? He poured milk into the tea then tossed the tea bags into the sink.
He decided to ignore the parcel, moving to the opposite side of the table to give Gwaine his tea and place his own in front of him without sitting down. He felt Gwaine’s eyes on him as he left the kitchen and walked into the lounge without a word. Leon grabbed the folded jumper from the coffee table and proceeded back into the kitchen.
“Here,” he said as he shoved it in front of Gwaine. Gwaine glanced at the jumper and back up at Leon, a smirk firmly in place. This was the Gwaine he knew.
Gwaine stood up and started unbuttoning his coat. Leon did not want to watch this. He wrapped his hands around his teacup and dragged it towards him so he could stare into the hot, tan coloured liquid. He heard Gwaine’s coat drop onto the chair. He took a deep breath and tried to get the image of a naked Gwaine out of his head. He blew on the tea and attempted to concentrate on the ripples being made.
“Fits nicely,” Gwaine stated. Leon fought the urge to look up. “How did you know my size?”
Leon shrugged. “Lucky guess.” He took a sip of his tea with his eyes still fixed on the cup.
“Hmm… maybe I was wrong.”
“Huh, what?” Leon spluttered at the comment and looked up.
Gwaine laughed. “Made ya look.”
Leon scowled at the man standing opposite him but noted the jumper did fit him rather well, along with the dark jeans into the pockets of which Gwaine had stuck his hands.
“You really do need to relax, Leon,” Gwaine commented. “It is just a jumper.”
Even though Gwaine had used his name, somehow Leon wasn’t sure Gwaine’s words had been entirely directed at him.
“Exactly, it is just a jumper.” Leon took another sip of his tea. “Aren’t you going to drink your tea?”
Gwaine glance down at the tea and then continued to watch Leon. He pulled his hands out of his pockets, reached for the package and shoved it across the table at Leon. “Open it and I’ll drink my tea.”
It was Leon’s turn to laugh. “I don’t care if you drink your tea or not. I completed my dare and you are completing your end of it. I have nothing to do with whatever this is.” Leon gestured at the package. “I’m not opening it.”
Gwaine sighed and sat back down. “I suppose we were both right.”
“About what?”
“About you being uptight and that you buying a crude Christmas jumper wasn’t going to change anything.”
Leon wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He watched Gwaine as he silently fiddled with the cup of tea in front of him. Leon drankmore of his tea before Gwaine finally broke the silence.
“Right… well, I guess I should go then.” He pushed back in his chair, stood and then grabbed his coat. Leon watched him put it on over the jumper and felt a wave of sadness in seeing it covered up. Gwaine retrieved his scarf and replaced it around his neck. He looked back at Leon and, with a small sigh, said “See ya.”
As soon as Gwaine turned to leave, nearly every part of Leon wanted to protest. But he didn’t. He let him walk out his front door.
“Shite,” Leon whispered to himself, head in his hands, shaking his head. “This is hopeless.” No, he thought as he lifted his head out of his hands, he had to get a grip on himself. He couldn’t let Gwaine get to him like this.
He drank some more of his tea before he saw Gwaine had left the package on his table. He worried at his bottom lip as he toyed with how he should proceed.
Did he open the package, like Gwaine wanted him to? Did he throw it out? Or possibly give it to Merlin to give back to Gwaine? Wait a second… Merlin was probably in on this too, just like the pub. He’d bet Merlin was the one who had dared Gwaine and now Leon was curious to see what Merlin’s dare truly entailed. He eyed the package and decided to ring his devious friend.
Merlin picked up on the third ring. “Hi Leon, what’s up?”
“What did you dare Gwaine to do?” Leon asked, cutting to the chase.
“Dare? Gwaine? What are you talking about? I didn’t dare him to do anything.”
“Well somebody did. I have a package on my table to prove it. He said it was a dare.”
“Wait, Gwaine gave you something?”
“He tried to but I told him I didn’t want it so he just left it here and walked out,” Leon explained.
“He was at your place?”
“Yes, Merlin. And it isn’t what you’re thinking. He invited himself, I made him a cuppa, and he tried to give me the package. I gave him the stupid jumper, which he put on and then left.”
“So Gwaine left your house in the jumper you gave him?” There was a happy lilt to Merlin’s voice.
“You’re missing the point. He was dared to give me something and I want to know what it was,” Leon said, slightly frustrated as he stared at the lumpy package on his kitchen table.
“Well I don’t know what it is,” Merlin said matter-of-factly. “I didn’t dare Gwaine to do anything, so the only way I can see you finding out what is in the package is by actually opening it, like Gwaine intended you to.”
“Dammit Merlin. If you didn’t dare him, than who did?”
“Does it really matter?”
“That’s what he said.”
“Just open it.”
There was quiet on both sides while Leon continued to stare at the package contemplating his next step. Gwaine’s words about taking himself too seriously and buying the jumper not changing anything resounded in Leon’s mind.
“Okay, I’ll open it.” Yep, he was doomed.
“Good.” Merlin sounded pleased with Leon’s decision.
Leon put the phone down, but didn’t hang up the call. He was sure Merlin was curious to know what was in the package as well. He tore open one end and immediately confirmed his suspicions that it was a jumper. He pulled the red woollen piece out of the brown paper it had been wrapped in but stopped short of unfolding it. He pushed the loudspeaker button on his phone.
“It’s a jumper,” he told Merlin and Merlin’s laughter resonated loud and true.
“I don’t see how that’s funny. You promise you didn’t dare him to do this?”
Merlin controlled his laughter enough to say, “Yes, I promise. What colour is it and does it have anything on it?”
“It’s red…with stripe of white arrowheads. And not as far as I can tell. I haven’t unfolded it.”
“Well unfold it already. What are you waiting for?”
“I don’t know. I feel like Gwaine wanted me to do it when he was here.”
“But he left. So maybe he thought him being there was stopping you and he really just wanted you to open it and see what it is.”
Why did Merlin have to make so much sense? And how was Gwaine influencing his decisions without even being present. “Okay… unfolding the jumper.” There was nothing bar the stripe of arrow heads on the back… so what was on the front. He tentatively turned it around and saw the bow tied at the top of some mistletoe. Above the image it read ‘Kiss me under the mistletoe’ and below the image was a large white arrow pointing down, just to make clear you knew what the top meant.
“It’s… very Gwaine.”
“How? What’s on it?”
“Umm…”
“Oh, come on Leon. It’s me, Merlin. You can tell me.”
“Are you sure you didn’t have anything to do with this?”
“Positive. So tell me!”
“I’ll send you a pic. Talk to you tomorrow.”
“That bad, huh? All right, bye.”
Leon hung up and used his phone to photograph the jumper’s front on the table. He opened a message to Merlin but changed his mind, took a photo of the back and sent that instead. Then he sent a message to Gwaine.
Your tea is cold and you left your package here. When are you coming to collect it?
---
A week went by with no response from Gwaine. Leon had been anxious for the first day or two that his message went unanswered, then resigned himself to the fact Gwaine wasn’t coming back and that it was probably a good thing.
The Saturday after Gwaine had left the package on his kitchen table, Leon was cooking dinner for himself with his favourite Christmas album playing from his computer, when he thought he heard someone knocking on his door.
He stopped for a moment to listen, just in case. The knocking didn’t come again so he shrugged it off as his imagination and went back to his pasta.
A minute later, his phone vibrated on the bench. He peered at it to find a message from Gwaine.
What are you cooking?
Leon raised his eyebrow at the message, picked up the phone and called Gwaine. The first ring had barely finished when Gwaine’s voice was in his ears. “So is there enough for me?”
Leon ignored the question and asked one of his own. “Are you standing outside my door?”
He heard three knocks through his phone and from the direction of his front door in way of response. “Can I come in?”
Leon ended the call and sauntered to his front door. He opened it, and sure enough Gwaine was standing on the other side. “Why thank you,” Gwaine said with a cheeky grin from ear to ear. He didn’t wait for Leon to step aside, but merely pushed passed and made his way towards the food.
Leon stared in slight disbelief at Gwaine’s back until he was out of sight. He was wearing the jumper Leon had given him. A cold draft reminded Leon the door was still open and he promptly closed it before following Gwaine back into the kitchen.
He found Gwaine sampling the sauce he had been simmering. Leon cleared his throat, “Ahem.”
Gwaine turned towards him and announced, “This is great. I should come over more often. I didn’t know you were such a good cook.”
“There are a good many things you don’t know about me, Gwaine. However, what I’d like to know is what you think you are doing here?” Leon asked.
Gwaine sighed and put down the wooden spoon he’d been using to sample the sauce. “I came to take back the package I left,” he said, then added the afterthought. “If you’re sure you don’t want it.”
“Riight…” Leon was sure that was not what Gwaine was here for. “That’s why you invited yourself in for dinner.”
Gwaine shrugged. “It was worth a try, wasn’t it?”
Leon eyed the reindeer on Gwaine’s jumper and then looked back up to meet the other man’s gaze. Gwaine’s face appeared hard and his eyes were thoughtful, possibly deciding on his next move or trying to work out Leon’s.
“I opened the package,” Leon admitted. This brought a grin back to Gwaine’s face.
“Ha, I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist for long.”
“Did you really buy that jumper for me?” Leon asked the question that had been playing in the back of his mind all week, but he was not prepared for the confusion on Gwaine’s face.
“Yeah, I told you. It was a dare.” Gwaine’s reply came quickly and without any thought and the small glimmer of hope Leon had had was crushed.
“Yeah… right.”
Numb, Leon moved into the kitchen, snatched up the wooden spoon, washed it and then gave the sauce a stir. He turned off the gas to the pasta and poured it into the colander to drain. He ignored Gwaine’s silent scrutiny as he served himself a bowl, added some of the sauce and went to sit at the table.
He had loaded up his fork with food and was about to put it in his mouth when Gwaine sat on the seat next to him, turned to face his side, and exclaimed, “Wait a minute. You mean to tell me you thought I bought that jumper for you because I wanted to…”
Leon dropped his fork and concentrated on keeping a straight face. But with Gwaine this close, it was no use. He felt his cheeks burning and knew Gwaine would see them turning bright pink.
“Oh my god, you did,” Gwaine said with an excitable laugh.
Leon turned to Gwaine and gave him the best stern face he could with his cheeks still burning. “And there is one of the reasons I never bothered to try. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to eat my dinner in peace.” He looked back at his pasta and picked up his fork. Taking a deep breath, he added, “I’m sure you can see yourself out as you were more than able to see yourself in.”
As soon as he’d uttered the last word he felt Gwaine’s hand under his chin, turning his head. Leon returned the fork to his bowl again, but there was no time to protest as Gwaine’s lips descended upon his. The passion behind the kiss was palpable and Leon couldn’t help but answer with his own. Their lips smashed together and Gwaine caressed the light beard under Leon’s chin before slowly pulling back.
Leon opened his eyes, not remembering shutting them, and Gwaine’s face was the only thing in his vision. Gwaine searched his face then said softly, “I’ll go if you want me to.”
“I…” Leon lowered his gaze. He couldn’t think straight with Gwaine this close to him.
“It’s alright,” Gwaine said softly, moving back. “I get it,” he sighed and stood up to leave. He took a step towards the door and Leon was on his feet too, grabbing Gwaine’s right, wool covered shoulder.
“Wait,” Leon said as he turned Gwaine back towards him and captured the other man’s lips with his. This kiss was just as passionate as the first and it was longer before Leon was the one to finally pull back. “You can stay for dinner.”
A smile lit up Gwaine’s face and Leon found himself being pulled into the other man’s chest, with arms wrapped around his waist and hands resting on his butt. “Do I get dessert?”
Leon shared Gwaine’s smile. “Don’t push your luck.”
--------------------------
Author’s Note: If anyone is curious about what jumpers inspired this; the reindeer one is here and the mistletoe one here
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