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winterknightsTitle: Make My Wish Come True
Author/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
geekslave
Pairing(s): Merlin/Arthur
Prompt: self-prompt
Word Count/Art Medium: ~3.5k
Rating: R
Contains: none
Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Thanks to the mods for running the fest and for their extraordinary patience. Title taken from a lyric in the song All I Want for Christmas is You
Summary: All Merlin wants for Christmas is to be more than Arthur’s bed warmer, but he’s not sure if Arthur has what it takes to grant that wish.
On AO3
All I want for Christmas is…
Merlin ripped the ear buds out of his head, which interrupted his tenth replay of his favorite bouncy Christmas tune. He sat up in bed and strained his ears. He knew he heard something odd, but wasn’t sure what.
Suddenly, he heard a loud screech and then there was the sound of glass shattering - probably something expensive Merlin surmised.
Instead of getting up in distress at the sound, he sat back in bed. This was a very familiar scene. All of Arthur’s relationships ended with blood, tears, and property damage.
“Arthur Pendragon, you are the worst boyfriend ever!” Vivian screamed.
At least Merlin assumed the end was near. It seemed to be about that time - more than time actually. Arthur’s relationship had lasted for a month, which was about two weeks longer than Merlin had expected. Arthur taste in women was sometimes questionable, but Merlin couldn’t understand how he was able to stand being around that woman for more than a minute. She was shrill, vapid, shallow, and mean. Merlin had to assume the sex was absolutely outstanding.
Despite all of that, Arthur’s timing was a bit questionable. But, still breaking up with the girl a week before Christmas seemed a bit harsh.
“I asked for two carat diamonds, Arthur! And you give me this cheap one carat necklace? What am I trailer trash?”
On the other hand...the sooner he was free of her the better.
There was a slight pause, and Merlin was about to put his earbuds back in when the sound of something smashing against the wall pierced the air.
“That was my grandfather’s antique vase!” Arthur cried.
Merlin winced. He didn’t want to hear anymore and commenced with listening to his holiday playlist.
About five minutes later the walls practically rattled and Merlin turned his music off again. When there was no screeching or destruction to be heard, he got up and gingerly walked over to his door.
When he walked out to their living area, Arthur was sitting on their red couch holding a large, jagged piece of white porcelain.
Merlin cleared his throat.
Arthur looked over slowly and sighed as he then gazed up at the ceiling. “If you’re just going to say ‘I told you so’ please don’t.
“I wasn’t.” Merlin held up his hands before sitting down next to him. “I was just going to tell you that I’m your secret Santa and I think you’ll be very happy with your gift.” He pointed at the shattered vase.
Arthur raised one eyebrow as he looked at Merlin askance. “You’ve gotten me a vase that was in my family for three generations?”
Merlin pursed his lips. “No. But Debenhams has an excellent return policy.”
Arthur shook his head, but Merlin could see a slow smile forming on his beautiful face.
Merlin stroked Arthur’s shoulder. He was surprised Arthur looked so downcast. “You didn’t actually think this relationship would last, did you?”
Arthur let out a long sigh. “No. I just...I’m tired of going through this all the time.”
This wasn’t a surprise to hear. Arthur had gone through a myriad of girls in the five years Merlin had known him. He was a serial monogamist, but each successive relationship was shorter and shorter. Merlin didn’t know what Arthur was looking for and looking into his sad, blue eyes now - he wasn’t sure if Arthur knew either.
“Perhaps you just need to take a respite from relationships for a while. It doesn’t seem to be making you happy.”
Arthur hung his head and ran a hand through his hair.
Merlin rubbed his hand up and down Arthur’s back. “Come on, Arthur. Things will be alright. We have the office party tomorrow and you can get suitably plastered and forget this whole Vivian affair.”
Arthur just nodded slowly, but didn’t say anything.
Merlin got up and headed back to his room. He tried to put Arthur’s situation out of his mind. He hoped that Arthur heard what he had to say and was prepared to do some thinking, but he wasn’t that lucky.
About an hour after he left Arthur, he was lying down in bed when he saw his doorknob slowly turn and Arthur stick his head in. From the glassy look in his eye, Merlin realized that Arthur decided to get a jump on the getting plastered plan.
Arthur didn’t wait to be invited in. He walked in and didn’t say anything as he closed the door behind him and sauntered over to Merlin.
Not again, Merlin thought.
He got up on his knees and waved his hands in front of him. “No more, Arthur. My bed is now an Arthur free zone.”
Arthur didn’t say anything but gave Merlin a sexy grin, which would normally have Merlin’s pants off quicker than you could say “rebound” but not any longer.
This had been going on for a long time. The first time it happened was two weeks after Gwen had ended things with Arthur. Arthur was devastated and Merlin had just been trying to offer some comfort. Somehow that comfort included his hand stuffed down Arthur’s crotch and eventual mutual hand jobs.
After things with Mithian ended, it took one week before Arthur and Merlin were giving each other blowjobs. Then after the particularly destructive ending with Sophia, it took only two days before Arthur was riding Merlin and giving him the best orgasm of his life.
The shorter his relationship, the shorter Arthur’s mourning period.
But Merlin thought they had put this issue to bed - so to speak - after Arthur’s break-up with Elena four months ago. She had been a lovely, sweet girl who Merlin had actually become friends with. Perhaps that was the reason Arthur seemed to take it particularly hard.
He had cried on Merlin’s shoulder the next day, but when Arthur tried to kiss him, Merlin had pushed him away. He claimed that sex wasn’t going to help and Arthur had listened. They spent the rest of the night having a Friends marathon slurping down gallons of rum raisin ice cream.
Merlin had never told Arthur the real reason he couldn’t do the friends with benefits thing anymore, but he had hoped that it would never need to come to that, and they could just go back to being normal friends, but clearly Arthur had other plans in mind.
He was inching closer to Merlin and the predatory look in his eye was equal parts unsettling and alluring.
“I mean it, Arthur. Can’t you just wank like a normal heartbroken prat?” Merlin stood up on the bed and put some more distance between them since the sound of his voice did not seem to be penetrating Arthur’s lust-filled haze.
After he got closer to the bed, Arthur slowly reached out and took hold of Merlin’s left hand. “I hate to admit this, Merlin, but you know what to do with your hands more. Perhaps it was all those lonely years wanking up in your room.”
Merlin snatched his hand back and glared at Arthur. “I hate to break this to you, Arthur, but wooing with insults isn’t a turn on for me.”
Arthur shrugged and looked completely unapologetic. “I was trying to pay you a compliment.”
“Whatever you were trying to do, it’s not working. So, just...go.” It was unfortunate that his voice sounded so shaky. His protestation sounded unconvincing even to his own ears.
Continuing to ignore Merlin, Arthur got up on the bed and knee-walked toward Merlin. He grabbed Merlin’s hips and pressed their groins together.
Merlin’s eyes fluttered. He could feel Arthur’s erection against him. He swallowed. “I’m not going to be your bed warmer in between relationships.”
Arthur licked his lips and slowly slid his hand up Merlin’s chest. “Your heart is beating so fast. I don’t think you’re being entirely truthful, Merlin.” He looked into Merlin’s eyes. “Do you really want me to stop?”
Merlin’s pause was all Arthur needed to continue his torture/seduction. He started to nibble on Merlin’s neck.
He exposed his neck further and put his arms around Arthur’s waist. Arthur slowly lifted up Merlin’s hand and kissed the inside of his wrist gently. Merlin moaned.
They were very, very good at this. It felt so natural to give into him, which was part of the problem.
When Arthur reached for the hem of Merlin’s shirt, he pulled back. “No.” He hit Arthur square in the chest with the palms of his hands. “I mean it.”
Arthur finally turned serious and jumped off the bed. “What’s wrong, Merlin?”
Merlin trailed his hands through his hair. “Arthur, I don’t know why you feel the need to be in relationships, even when you’re not in one, but I can’t do it anymore. I want something real.”
“If you want something real, then why are you never in a relationship?”
Merlin almost pulled at his hair. Arthur was so obtuse, but to be fair, Merlin was the idiot who never told Arthur how he felt about him. “I’m selective, Arthur. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Arthur nodded. “No, there’s not. But there’s nothing wrong with having some fun while you’re waiting for Mr. Right.”
“This isn’t fun for me,” Merlin finally admitted truthfully. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was more than he had admitted before.
Arthur just stared at him as if he was trying to see through to his soul and get answers, but he blinked and looked away. Maybe he already knew the truth and just didn’t want to hear it. When he looked back at Merlin, he was frowning. “I’m sorry, Merlin. I didn’t realize having sex with me was such an ordeal.”
Merlin growled and hopped off the bed. “Don’t do that. Don’t act like I’m the one insulting you. I’m just being honest with you, Arthur. Having meaningless sex with you isn’t my ideal.”
“Well, it’s not fun for me, either.” Arthur lied. His eyes narrowed and his expression had hardened. “I was trying to do you a favor, but this isn’t what I want.” He sighed and leaned back against the bedroom door. “I think about what my parents had and want that kind of relationship. I want to be that happy. That’s why I’m looking for someone to love.”
Merlin burst out laughing.
Arthur looked at him with shock and then rising anger.
Merlin covered his mouth. “I’m so sorry, but open your eyes, Arthur. Did you really think you’d find everlasting love with Vivian?” Merlin got up and walked toward Arthur. “You deserve real love, Arthur. If that’s what you’re really looking for, I hope you find it. I…”
“What?” Arthur pushed off from the door and his eyes widened as he stared at Merlin pointedly.
Merlin pursed his lips. He sighed and looked up at Arthur. “I just think when you find it, you’ll be too blind to see it.”
Arthur and Merlin stared at each other. After a second, Arthur opened the door hesitantly and walked out while still staring at Merlin.
Merlin sighed deeply and shut the door, banging his head against it repeatedly.
~*~
All I want for Christmas is…
Merlin pinched the bridge of his nose. He swore if he heard that song one more time…
Really it was his own fault. Ever since his argument with Arthur he’d been switching between mainlining all of his Christmas music and playing Love, Actually on a loop.
He finally realized he needed a break from the song when he woke up one day actually singing the song before his eyes were even open.
It didn’t help that Merlin was now stuck at his office’s holiday party and there was no hope of escape.
Merlin wasn’t much of a party person on his best day.
He hated small talk. He hated having to be stuck in a room with people and having to put on a happy face when, more often than not, the last thing he was feeling was happy.
While trying to pass the time, Merlin had gone over every party experience in his life, and he would rank tonight’s party as probably the worst of his life - and that included his twelfth birthday party when his Uncle Neville choked on a crisp and died.
He wasn’t just unhappy right now - he was grouchy, tired, hungry, and uncomfortable. Everywhere he went he could feel Arthur’s eyes on him. It was as if his anger was literally radiating off of him and Merlin could feel heat on the back of his neck.
For the third time, he adjusted his collar. He was really starting to sweat.
Starting his ill-advised dalliance with Arthur had been astoundingly stupid on multiple levels. They didn’t just live together, but also worked together.
If they couldn’t find a way to get along now, Merlin was screwed. There would be nowhere he could find peace.
Even though he didn’t think he’d did anything wrong, Merlin decided to head over to Arthur and try to make peace. Before he could make it to Arthur, his friend Gwaine blocked his path.
Gwaine leered at him. He was a usually a shameless flirt, but tonight with all of the alcohol on hand, Gwaine looked like he would mount the potted plant in the corner. His eyes were unfocused and he reeked of bourbon.
“You look absolutely aces tonight, Merl.” Gwaine sidled closer to Merlin and put his arm around Merlin’s waist.
Merlin tensed up, but tried to smile. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Arthur straighten up.
“Thanks, mate.” Merlin took a step back. He looked over his shoulder and Arthur was talking to an older gentlemen Merlin didn’t recognize.
Even though Arthur had a pleasant smile on his face, he kept shooting glances over to Gwaine and Merlin. His blue eyes were squinting and he looked like he wanted to eviscerate Gwaine.
“I know it’s probably not a good idea to eat where you shit.” Gwaine furrowed his brow. “Eat where you shit?”
Merlin avoided rolling his eyes. “I think you mean shit where you eat.”
“That’s it.” Gwaine wagged his finger and smiled. “So, do you want to come back to my place and fuck?”
Merlin’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Arthur bumping into Gwaine.
“Oh, excuse me.” Arthur feigned surprise. “I didn’t see you there.”
Gwaine just shrugged.
“I think I’m a little drunk,” Arthur continued. “I suppose I have to be because did I hear you propositioning Merlin here?” He didn’t want for either of them to respond. “That had to be wrong because you know the company policy about fraternization, don’t you?”
Gwaine just blinked up at him.
Merlin rubbed his forehead. He was fairly sure Arthur was making that up. Even though he had no intention of starting anything with Gwaine, he wasn’t going to let Arthur try and dictate what he could or couldn’t do.
“I think that’s a load of bollocks. There is no company policy and if there were, I would be very afraid if I were you, Arthur, given that you’ve nailed almost every skirt here,” Merlin answered.
Gwaine snickered.
Arthur glowered at Merlin.
“What crawled up your arse and died, princess?” Gwaine stared up at Arthur.
Merlin could see Arthur’s fists clench.
“I just don’t want to see either one of you get in trouble.”
Merlin shook his head. “You’re just trying to stick your nose in where it doesn’t belong.”
Arthur’s nostrils flared and he angrily turned to Merlin.
Gwaine looked between the two of them. “Is it just me or is there a lot of tension here?”
Merlin and Arthur just continued to stare each other down.
Gwaine nodded slowly. “Perhaps it’s just the bourbon talking. Speaking of bourbon...” He just trailed off and backed away from the two of them.
Before Merlin could give Arthur a piece of his mind, Arthur took hold of his arm and half-dragged Merlin off to the hallway outside the conference room.
Once outside, Merlin ripped his arm away.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Saving you from making a daft choice. You can’t sleep with Gwaine.”
Merlin fisted a handful of his hair and groaned. “I can sleep with whoever I want. It’s none of your concern, Arthur.”
“I’m still your friend, Merlin.”
Merlin shook his head. “Are you? Because we have been anything but friends for quite some time.”
“That’s not true!” Arthur’s eyes widened and he sounded wounded.
“It is!” Merlin tried to control the volume of his voice, but his anger got the best of him. “Friends care about each other. They talk to each other. They don’t use each other. I’m not your friend, Arthur. I’m your scratching post. I served your needs and that was it.”
The look on Arthur’s face took the wind out of Merlin’s sails. His eyes glistened and his jaw tightened. He stared down at the floor.
Merlin took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Arthur. I shouldn’t have said that. I went into this with my eyes open. I thought I could handle it, but…”
“But what?” Arthur’s voice was so low Merlin barely heard him.
“I want more and you can’t give that to me.”
Arthur’s eyes searched Merlin’s face. Realization seemed to hit him and the expression on his face softened.
Merlin couldn’t take being there for one more minute and left.
~*~
All I want-
Merlin practically threw his phone against the wall when the song accidentally came up on Merlin’s phone.
He had been in an incredibly foul mood for days now, ever since the holiday party. He had spent almost the entire week holed up in his room, avoiding Arthur.
It was Christmas Eve and Merlin was sure this would be the worst one ever. Not only were he and Arthur on the outs, but his mother and father had gone to visit his brother Mordred and his wife Sefa. They had invited Merlin along, but he begged off because he and Arthur had plans.
Merlin laughed bitterly when he thought about it. A couple of weeks before Christmas he had found out Arthur had never seen Love, Actually or A Christmas Story or It’s a Wonderful Life. After shaking his head and wondering what cave Arthur had been brought up in, Merlin planned a Christmas movie marathon.
Arthur had agreed - it helped that he was on his fourth glass of wine at the time. Merlin had really been looking forward to it and now…
Merlin turned over in his bed and groaned.
He hadn’t spoken to Arthur since the party. Arthur would leave in the morning and Merlin would deliberately hide in his room.
The only place Merlin went was to work. They worked on different floors, so didn’t have to see each other there often.
Around noon, Merlin heard some light movement in the living room. Soon after that, the smell of popcorn wafted under his door. When he heard the television turn on, he sat up.
He didn’t know what Arthur was doing. Even though Arthur had turned down going over to his sister’s for the holidays, Merlin assumed that Arthur wouldn’t want to stay around their flat and would leave. Clearly he had other ideas.
A few seconds later there was a knock at his door.
Merlin gulped. He clutched the sheets and waited for Arthur to go away. Maybe he’d knocked accidentally.
But then there was a second knock and then a third.
“Merlin?”
It was sad and pathetic, but Merlin melted at the sound of his voice. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it. He slowly got off the bed and went to the door. He hesitated with his hand on the knob, before turning it.
Arthur was standing there looking amazing as ever in a red and white striped jumper and brown antlers on his ear.
Merlin let out a short burst of laughter.
Arthur was also carrying a large bowl of popcorn.
“Arthur, what are you doing?”
“We had plans.” Arthur answered simply.
Merlin blinked. “Plans?”
“Our movie marathon.”
“I know what our plans were, but Arthur-”
“You’re wrong, Merlin.” Arthur interrupted. He looked up at him with a warm smile. “I’m not too blind to see it.” He looked adorably nervous. “And I hope I’m not too late.”
Merlin clutched the door jamb to keep himself standing.
Arthur looked behind him. “And I know a lot of people have their first dates at the movies, so I was hoping you were still free to show me what an uncultured movie philistine I am.”
Merlin’s smile threatened to crack his face in half. He grabbed Arthur and hauled him inside. The marathon would have to wait.
~*~
All I want for Christmas is you…
When Merlin’s eyes fluttered open and he saw Arthur smiling down at him, singing softly, he found a new appreciation for that song.
Author/Artist:
geekslavePairing(s): Merlin/Arthur
Prompt: self-prompt
Word Count/Art Medium: ~3.5k
Rating: R
Contains: none
Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Thanks to the mods for running the fest and for their extraordinary patience. Title taken from a lyric in the song All I Want for Christmas is You
Summary: All Merlin wants for Christmas is to be more than Arthur’s bed warmer, but he’s not sure if Arthur has what it takes to grant that wish.
On AO3
All I want for Christmas is…
Merlin ripped the ear buds out of his head, which interrupted his tenth replay of his favorite bouncy Christmas tune. He sat up in bed and strained his ears. He knew he heard something odd, but wasn’t sure what.
Suddenly, he heard a loud screech and then there was the sound of glass shattering - probably something expensive Merlin surmised.
Instead of getting up in distress at the sound, he sat back in bed. This was a very familiar scene. All of Arthur’s relationships ended with blood, tears, and property damage.
“Arthur Pendragon, you are the worst boyfriend ever!” Vivian screamed.
At least Merlin assumed the end was near. It seemed to be about that time - more than time actually. Arthur’s relationship had lasted for a month, which was about two weeks longer than Merlin had expected. Arthur taste in women was sometimes questionable, but Merlin couldn’t understand how he was able to stand being around that woman for more than a minute. She was shrill, vapid, shallow, and mean. Merlin had to assume the sex was absolutely outstanding.
Despite all of that, Arthur’s timing was a bit questionable. But, still breaking up with the girl a week before Christmas seemed a bit harsh.
“I asked for two carat diamonds, Arthur! And you give me this cheap one carat necklace? What am I trailer trash?”
On the other hand...the sooner he was free of her the better.
There was a slight pause, and Merlin was about to put his earbuds back in when the sound of something smashing against the wall pierced the air.
“That was my grandfather’s antique vase!” Arthur cried.
Merlin winced. He didn’t want to hear anymore and commenced with listening to his holiday playlist.
About five minutes later the walls practically rattled and Merlin turned his music off again. When there was no screeching or destruction to be heard, he got up and gingerly walked over to his door.
When he walked out to their living area, Arthur was sitting on their red couch holding a large, jagged piece of white porcelain.
Merlin cleared his throat.
Arthur looked over slowly and sighed as he then gazed up at the ceiling. “If you’re just going to say ‘I told you so’ please don’t.
“I wasn’t.” Merlin held up his hands before sitting down next to him. “I was just going to tell you that I’m your secret Santa and I think you’ll be very happy with your gift.” He pointed at the shattered vase.
Arthur raised one eyebrow as he looked at Merlin askance. “You’ve gotten me a vase that was in my family for three generations?”
Merlin pursed his lips. “No. But Debenhams has an excellent return policy.”
Arthur shook his head, but Merlin could see a slow smile forming on his beautiful face.
Merlin stroked Arthur’s shoulder. He was surprised Arthur looked so downcast. “You didn’t actually think this relationship would last, did you?”
Arthur let out a long sigh. “No. I just...I’m tired of going through this all the time.”
This wasn’t a surprise to hear. Arthur had gone through a myriad of girls in the five years Merlin had known him. He was a serial monogamist, but each successive relationship was shorter and shorter. Merlin didn’t know what Arthur was looking for and looking into his sad, blue eyes now - he wasn’t sure if Arthur knew either.
“Perhaps you just need to take a respite from relationships for a while. It doesn’t seem to be making you happy.”
Arthur hung his head and ran a hand through his hair.
Merlin rubbed his hand up and down Arthur’s back. “Come on, Arthur. Things will be alright. We have the office party tomorrow and you can get suitably plastered and forget this whole Vivian affair.”
Arthur just nodded slowly, but didn’t say anything.
Merlin got up and headed back to his room. He tried to put Arthur’s situation out of his mind. He hoped that Arthur heard what he had to say and was prepared to do some thinking, but he wasn’t that lucky.
About an hour after he left Arthur, he was lying down in bed when he saw his doorknob slowly turn and Arthur stick his head in. From the glassy look in his eye, Merlin realized that Arthur decided to get a jump on the getting plastered plan.
Arthur didn’t wait to be invited in. He walked in and didn’t say anything as he closed the door behind him and sauntered over to Merlin.
Not again, Merlin thought.
He got up on his knees and waved his hands in front of him. “No more, Arthur. My bed is now an Arthur free zone.”
Arthur didn’t say anything but gave Merlin a sexy grin, which would normally have Merlin’s pants off quicker than you could say “rebound” but not any longer.
This had been going on for a long time. The first time it happened was two weeks after Gwen had ended things with Arthur. Arthur was devastated and Merlin had just been trying to offer some comfort. Somehow that comfort included his hand stuffed down Arthur’s crotch and eventual mutual hand jobs.
After things with Mithian ended, it took one week before Arthur and Merlin were giving each other blowjobs. Then after the particularly destructive ending with Sophia, it took only two days before Arthur was riding Merlin and giving him the best orgasm of his life.
The shorter his relationship, the shorter Arthur’s mourning period.
But Merlin thought they had put this issue to bed - so to speak - after Arthur’s break-up with Elena four months ago. She had been a lovely, sweet girl who Merlin had actually become friends with. Perhaps that was the reason Arthur seemed to take it particularly hard.
He had cried on Merlin’s shoulder the next day, but when Arthur tried to kiss him, Merlin had pushed him away. He claimed that sex wasn’t going to help and Arthur had listened. They spent the rest of the night having a Friends marathon slurping down gallons of rum raisin ice cream.
Merlin had never told Arthur the real reason he couldn’t do the friends with benefits thing anymore, but he had hoped that it would never need to come to that, and they could just go back to being normal friends, but clearly Arthur had other plans in mind.
He was inching closer to Merlin and the predatory look in his eye was equal parts unsettling and alluring.
“I mean it, Arthur. Can’t you just wank like a normal heartbroken prat?” Merlin stood up on the bed and put some more distance between them since the sound of his voice did not seem to be penetrating Arthur’s lust-filled haze.
After he got closer to the bed, Arthur slowly reached out and took hold of Merlin’s left hand. “I hate to admit this, Merlin, but you know what to do with your hands more. Perhaps it was all those lonely years wanking up in your room.”
Merlin snatched his hand back and glared at Arthur. “I hate to break this to you, Arthur, but wooing with insults isn’t a turn on for me.”
Arthur shrugged and looked completely unapologetic. “I was trying to pay you a compliment.”
“Whatever you were trying to do, it’s not working. So, just...go.” It was unfortunate that his voice sounded so shaky. His protestation sounded unconvincing even to his own ears.
Continuing to ignore Merlin, Arthur got up on the bed and knee-walked toward Merlin. He grabbed Merlin’s hips and pressed their groins together.
Merlin’s eyes fluttered. He could feel Arthur’s erection against him. He swallowed. “I’m not going to be your bed warmer in between relationships.”
Arthur licked his lips and slowly slid his hand up Merlin’s chest. “Your heart is beating so fast. I don’t think you’re being entirely truthful, Merlin.” He looked into Merlin’s eyes. “Do you really want me to stop?”
Merlin’s pause was all Arthur needed to continue his torture/seduction. He started to nibble on Merlin’s neck.
He exposed his neck further and put his arms around Arthur’s waist. Arthur slowly lifted up Merlin’s hand and kissed the inside of his wrist gently. Merlin moaned.
They were very, very good at this. It felt so natural to give into him, which was part of the problem.
When Arthur reached for the hem of Merlin’s shirt, he pulled back. “No.” He hit Arthur square in the chest with the palms of his hands. “I mean it.”
Arthur finally turned serious and jumped off the bed. “What’s wrong, Merlin?”
Merlin trailed his hands through his hair. “Arthur, I don’t know why you feel the need to be in relationships, even when you’re not in one, but I can’t do it anymore. I want something real.”
“If you want something real, then why are you never in a relationship?”
Merlin almost pulled at his hair. Arthur was so obtuse, but to be fair, Merlin was the idiot who never told Arthur how he felt about him. “I’m selective, Arthur. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Arthur nodded. “No, there’s not. But there’s nothing wrong with having some fun while you’re waiting for Mr. Right.”
“This isn’t fun for me,” Merlin finally admitted truthfully. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was more than he had admitted before.
Arthur just stared at him as if he was trying to see through to his soul and get answers, but he blinked and looked away. Maybe he already knew the truth and just didn’t want to hear it. When he looked back at Merlin, he was frowning. “I’m sorry, Merlin. I didn’t realize having sex with me was such an ordeal.”
Merlin growled and hopped off the bed. “Don’t do that. Don’t act like I’m the one insulting you. I’m just being honest with you, Arthur. Having meaningless sex with you isn’t my ideal.”
“Well, it’s not fun for me, either.” Arthur lied. His eyes narrowed and his expression had hardened. “I was trying to do you a favor, but this isn’t what I want.” He sighed and leaned back against the bedroom door. “I think about what my parents had and want that kind of relationship. I want to be that happy. That’s why I’m looking for someone to love.”
Merlin burst out laughing.
Arthur looked at him with shock and then rising anger.
Merlin covered his mouth. “I’m so sorry, but open your eyes, Arthur. Did you really think you’d find everlasting love with Vivian?” Merlin got up and walked toward Arthur. “You deserve real love, Arthur. If that’s what you’re really looking for, I hope you find it. I…”
“What?” Arthur pushed off from the door and his eyes widened as he stared at Merlin pointedly.
Merlin pursed his lips. He sighed and looked up at Arthur. “I just think when you find it, you’ll be too blind to see it.”
Arthur and Merlin stared at each other. After a second, Arthur opened the door hesitantly and walked out while still staring at Merlin.
Merlin sighed deeply and shut the door, banging his head against it repeatedly.
~*~
All I want for Christmas is…
Merlin pinched the bridge of his nose. He swore if he heard that song one more time…
Really it was his own fault. Ever since his argument with Arthur he’d been switching between mainlining all of his Christmas music and playing Love, Actually on a loop.
He finally realized he needed a break from the song when he woke up one day actually singing the song before his eyes were even open.
It didn’t help that Merlin was now stuck at his office’s holiday party and there was no hope of escape.
Merlin wasn’t much of a party person on his best day.
He hated small talk. He hated having to be stuck in a room with people and having to put on a happy face when, more often than not, the last thing he was feeling was happy.
While trying to pass the time, Merlin had gone over every party experience in his life, and he would rank tonight’s party as probably the worst of his life - and that included his twelfth birthday party when his Uncle Neville choked on a crisp and died.
He wasn’t just unhappy right now - he was grouchy, tired, hungry, and uncomfortable. Everywhere he went he could feel Arthur’s eyes on him. It was as if his anger was literally radiating off of him and Merlin could feel heat on the back of his neck.
For the third time, he adjusted his collar. He was really starting to sweat.
Starting his ill-advised dalliance with Arthur had been astoundingly stupid on multiple levels. They didn’t just live together, but also worked together.
If they couldn’t find a way to get along now, Merlin was screwed. There would be nowhere he could find peace.
Even though he didn’t think he’d did anything wrong, Merlin decided to head over to Arthur and try to make peace. Before he could make it to Arthur, his friend Gwaine blocked his path.
Gwaine leered at him. He was a usually a shameless flirt, but tonight with all of the alcohol on hand, Gwaine looked like he would mount the potted plant in the corner. His eyes were unfocused and he reeked of bourbon.
“You look absolutely aces tonight, Merl.” Gwaine sidled closer to Merlin and put his arm around Merlin’s waist.
Merlin tensed up, but tried to smile. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Arthur straighten up.
“Thanks, mate.” Merlin took a step back. He looked over his shoulder and Arthur was talking to an older gentlemen Merlin didn’t recognize.
Even though Arthur had a pleasant smile on his face, he kept shooting glances over to Gwaine and Merlin. His blue eyes were squinting and he looked like he wanted to eviscerate Gwaine.
“I know it’s probably not a good idea to eat where you shit.” Gwaine furrowed his brow. “Eat where you shit?”
Merlin avoided rolling his eyes. “I think you mean shit where you eat.”
“That’s it.” Gwaine wagged his finger and smiled. “So, do you want to come back to my place and fuck?”
Merlin’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Arthur bumping into Gwaine.
“Oh, excuse me.” Arthur feigned surprise. “I didn’t see you there.”
Gwaine just shrugged.
“I think I’m a little drunk,” Arthur continued. “I suppose I have to be because did I hear you propositioning Merlin here?” He didn’t want for either of them to respond. “That had to be wrong because you know the company policy about fraternization, don’t you?”
Gwaine just blinked up at him.
Merlin rubbed his forehead. He was fairly sure Arthur was making that up. Even though he had no intention of starting anything with Gwaine, he wasn’t going to let Arthur try and dictate what he could or couldn’t do.
“I think that’s a load of bollocks. There is no company policy and if there were, I would be very afraid if I were you, Arthur, given that you’ve nailed almost every skirt here,” Merlin answered.
Gwaine snickered.
Arthur glowered at Merlin.
“What crawled up your arse and died, princess?” Gwaine stared up at Arthur.
Merlin could see Arthur’s fists clench.
“I just don’t want to see either one of you get in trouble.”
Merlin shook his head. “You’re just trying to stick your nose in where it doesn’t belong.”
Arthur’s nostrils flared and he angrily turned to Merlin.
Gwaine looked between the two of them. “Is it just me or is there a lot of tension here?”
Merlin and Arthur just continued to stare each other down.
Gwaine nodded slowly. “Perhaps it’s just the bourbon talking. Speaking of bourbon...” He just trailed off and backed away from the two of them.
Before Merlin could give Arthur a piece of his mind, Arthur took hold of his arm and half-dragged Merlin off to the hallway outside the conference room.
Once outside, Merlin ripped his arm away.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Saving you from making a daft choice. You can’t sleep with Gwaine.”
Merlin fisted a handful of his hair and groaned. “I can sleep with whoever I want. It’s none of your concern, Arthur.”
“I’m still your friend, Merlin.”
Merlin shook his head. “Are you? Because we have been anything but friends for quite some time.”
“That’s not true!” Arthur’s eyes widened and he sounded wounded.
“It is!” Merlin tried to control the volume of his voice, but his anger got the best of him. “Friends care about each other. They talk to each other. They don’t use each other. I’m not your friend, Arthur. I’m your scratching post. I served your needs and that was it.”
The look on Arthur’s face took the wind out of Merlin’s sails. His eyes glistened and his jaw tightened. He stared down at the floor.
Merlin took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Arthur. I shouldn’t have said that. I went into this with my eyes open. I thought I could handle it, but…”
“But what?” Arthur’s voice was so low Merlin barely heard him.
“I want more and you can’t give that to me.”
Arthur’s eyes searched Merlin’s face. Realization seemed to hit him and the expression on his face softened.
Merlin couldn’t take being there for one more minute and left.
~*~
All I want-
Merlin practically threw his phone against the wall when the song accidentally came up on Merlin’s phone.
He had been in an incredibly foul mood for days now, ever since the holiday party. He had spent almost the entire week holed up in his room, avoiding Arthur.
It was Christmas Eve and Merlin was sure this would be the worst one ever. Not only were he and Arthur on the outs, but his mother and father had gone to visit his brother Mordred and his wife Sefa. They had invited Merlin along, but he begged off because he and Arthur had plans.
Merlin laughed bitterly when he thought about it. A couple of weeks before Christmas he had found out Arthur had never seen Love, Actually or A Christmas Story or It’s a Wonderful Life. After shaking his head and wondering what cave Arthur had been brought up in, Merlin planned a Christmas movie marathon.
Arthur had agreed - it helped that he was on his fourth glass of wine at the time. Merlin had really been looking forward to it and now…
Merlin turned over in his bed and groaned.
He hadn’t spoken to Arthur since the party. Arthur would leave in the morning and Merlin would deliberately hide in his room.
The only place Merlin went was to work. They worked on different floors, so didn’t have to see each other there often.
Around noon, Merlin heard some light movement in the living room. Soon after that, the smell of popcorn wafted under his door. When he heard the television turn on, he sat up.
He didn’t know what Arthur was doing. Even though Arthur had turned down going over to his sister’s for the holidays, Merlin assumed that Arthur wouldn’t want to stay around their flat and would leave. Clearly he had other ideas.
A few seconds later there was a knock at his door.
Merlin gulped. He clutched the sheets and waited for Arthur to go away. Maybe he’d knocked accidentally.
But then there was a second knock and then a third.
“Merlin?”
It was sad and pathetic, but Merlin melted at the sound of his voice. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it. He slowly got off the bed and went to the door. He hesitated with his hand on the knob, before turning it.
Arthur was standing there looking amazing as ever in a red and white striped jumper and brown antlers on his ear.
Merlin let out a short burst of laughter.
Arthur was also carrying a large bowl of popcorn.
“Arthur, what are you doing?”
“We had plans.” Arthur answered simply.
Merlin blinked. “Plans?”
“Our movie marathon.”
“I know what our plans were, but Arthur-”
“You’re wrong, Merlin.” Arthur interrupted. He looked up at him with a warm smile. “I’m not too blind to see it.” He looked adorably nervous. “And I hope I’m not too late.”
Merlin clutched the door jamb to keep himself standing.
Arthur looked behind him. “And I know a lot of people have their first dates at the movies, so I was hoping you were still free to show me what an uncultured movie philistine I am.”
Merlin’s smile threatened to crack his face in half. He grabbed Arthur and hauled him inside. The marathon would have to wait.
~*~
All I want for Christmas is you…
When Merlin’s eyes fluttered open and he saw Arthur smiling down at him, singing softly, he found a new appreciation for that song.
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